Mist this morning. Rhythms shift as the days diminish. Some things stay steady or grab ahold. Others seem to fall away. I don’t quite feel in control.
Frustrations — the ongoing irritation of yard crews buzzing, seemingly, through my skull — sometimes four a day, sometimes the trucks blocking my road. An expensive ‘upgrade’ with Verizon that not only DID NOT increase our speed, but created the lovely new quirk of dumping our devices off-line even when sitting within several feet of the (brand-new ‘upgraded’) router. The prospect of switching providers is on the horizon. While it will be good to do something about deficient service (especially when that ‘something’ might include two years of free HBO — a real prospect to a 57-year old who has NEVER had cable), it is nevertheless the case that switching a decades-old email address can only feel like a nightmare in-the-making. Ya know? And I hate how even the ‘easy stuff’ never is — fellow oldsters know what I mean! — how you get that four step list and the first three super-simple steps do not take you to the tabs or settings they say they will and you have to walk away or start over, all the while assuming there is something seriously wrong with your brain?!
And then there’s WordPress, which misbehaves regularly. This week? Random new default settings for picture justification and the lovely (revisiting) trick of rearranging the placement of a photo if I add a caption after insertion. That neither of these things were happening last week and that neither seems amenable to my attempts to correct just add to their power to annoy the crap out of me.
I’m not done yet — every other picture I shoot on my phone produces the “NO SPACE” message, even though I only keep about 250 AND I keep deleting apps AND I have very little music there. Since recently discovering the DianaPhoto app, it suddenly matters to me, meaning that what was an inconvenience two weeks ago, feels like a creative constraint today.
The PC where I type now presents its ongoing inefficiencies with photo tweaking and storage (my friend the Blue Spinning Donut). Any rearrangement of pix (say to a separate hard-drive) risks losing the trails and producing a gallery of question marks (it’s happened!). I actually feel sick thinking about all of this.
All fixable problems, of course, but not without outlays of cash for expert intervention or, in the case of the phone, massively upgraded monthly service. OK, I’ll learn about the cloud. OK!! OK!! I’ll go talk to one of the fucking geniuses at the mall.
But more money? No and no.
No wonder this little girl cheers me so!! She’s immune to these maddening issues. Completely Old World (which, let’s face it, might be 1991). She doesn’t even care that the hem of her pink silk skirt is ripped.
She sports her imperfections with elan! She eagerly greets every morning! All she needs for a happy day is someone to share her seasonal gifts with. Today, she’s my role model.
I think when I get back from Salem today, I’ll have a nice long chat with her.
Maybe her name will come to me on the drive North.
For now, let me beg forgiveness for the complaining (and by the way, for those of you who know me better, you know this is NOT a rant… more like a Report of Defeat).
Let me also apologize for the possible incoherence. I am typing to Alison Krauss (followed by Amy Winehouse) played a little too loud. This, to obscure the sound of two trucks somewhere nearby that seem to have nothing to do but BACK UP.
Beep beep beep beeep beeeep beeep. And now the street sweeper. Oh god, this is making traffic on 128 actually look appealing!
love the soft light through the curtain Dee!
the light has been so beautiful this November — even when it’s grey and raining… but I don’t ever remember so much gold and yellow this time of year.
I’m laughing … because the alternative is to go stark raving mad. I love technology in equal measure with how much it can provoke me … would never give up the opportunity to do what I’m doing right now … the good old days that never were, really.
And laughing because my 2 year old grandson managed to FaceTime me for the first time when he was only 18 months old … and my other 2 year old grandson can flip through my iPhone photo/video albums as easily as he can flip through a book (which fortunately he can also do). I’m counting on them to navigate me through all my technology snafus any day now.
And maybe you’ll laugh, too if I tell you that when one grandson walks backward he says, “beep beep beep” … because the alternative isn’t nearly as much fun.
I sure miss having teenaged boys around for the quick technical question!
Your high-hatted mousy is the perfect antidote to technological woes, which plague me also. As someone said…”first world problems”. Good luck with those.
Dana — I know it can help to remember that these are First World Problems. It is incredibly spoiled of me to want and expect technology to work reasonably well all the time, or for ‘upgrades’ positive changes to outweigh the negative. But more to the point – how lucky I am to not have to worry about food, heat, shelter, insurance payments, dental bills, etc.
I say to myself when myself is spinning on too many options–“Never mind”–then I drop it all and make nothing but simple decisions like what to eat and when to pee. I listen to audio books and fall asleep. I am a fragile elder and I have to be kind. It’s the only option I have that costs nothing and is easy on the ol’ heart 🙂 I think her name might be Glinda (the good witch mousie)
Thank you for such a reminder about kindness — and simplicity. My mantra for when it gets really bad is “Just walk away from the screen. Walk away from the screen!” PS I DID name Ms. Pretty Pink mouse Glinda. Great suggestion.
You remind me why I love my low-tech ‘real life’ (my career has been in high tech among people who generally love it … I can leave it). Also of the fact that my scanner inexplicably started scanning everything upside down a couple weeks ago. That’s easy to beat though … I just have to remember to put everything in upside down 😉
And btw … if the instructions don’t work, that’s very probably because the technical writer sucked–or perhaps wasn’t notified of changes (though that is why one should always have an ear to the ground). The instructions should work!
Heather, thanks. Both you and Chris gave me this idea that — gee — it might not be ME!
Dee, I just popped over here for the first time ages and I could not agree more about the simplest things being complex, and the complex things being psychically unbearable to the point of near madness. I work with computers all day, every day, and I supposedly know what I am doing – and yet, I have experiences like yours all the time. I think it is more about industry sloppiness than it is about us aging. Most companies don’t care anymore whether the user interface works properly, and software is thrown out there with minimal testing (if that). Less weight is given to what the customer might want and more weight is given to what is cheap/easy/fast for the company. Sad but true. End of rant!
Chris I really appreciate your comment… it really is almost impossible for me to sidestep this idea that I am inherently moronic for getting caught in these loops of no-seeming return.