Ever have a day when everything changes, but nothing does, really?
It was cold when I drove K to the train at 6:30 this morning and still cold when I headed up to Salem an hour later. A desperate call. Abandoned coffee.
Two nurses showed up. First, the usual business of taking vitals and checking in. They know my sister. They know me.
But then, for the third time in five weeks the question arose: should my sister go to the hospital?
She didn’t feel well, was sleepy and lethargic. Breathing labored. Wanted to know if I was wearing a tuxedo.
The talk went ’round. Her leg would need antibiotics and if she stayed home, she would need more care. A lot more care. Time to switch to hospice.
She said ‘no’ to the hospital. She signed the pink form: Do not resuscitate. Do not intubate. No C-pap or IV nutrition. No admission to a hospital. No dialysis.
Now my sister was chatty and engaged, her relief palpable. The change in her attitude made me think she’d made the right decision and perhaps that it was overdue.
Later, yet another capable nurse arrived to explain how the new care plan would work. I ran to Stop and Shop for drugs and lunch.
I drove home in silence.
Most likely I’ll tag this post ‘private’ in the near future, but it helps to put it down and to share briefly.
Will be thinking of you and your family during this difficult time and process. Wishing you the utmost peace possible.
Thank you Katrin. I appreciate it. She deserves peace too.
You are a good sister .. you are and don’t you forget it.
Not sure if you need me to tell you that .. but I just really feel like I need too.
Sending you both warm hugs and prayerful Blessings.
Hand wringing will ensue. But not right now. Thanks for the hugs and prayers, Tina.
Oh Dee. I’m sorry. Let’s catch up soon.
I’ll call you. Glad you two connected recently.
Thinking of you, and sending blessings.
Thank you Angie!
loving & caring, just can’t be switched off, so life can be so darn hard had times. Hoping you find strength in the days ahead.
I have support, thankfully.
Hard times to end January dear Dee.
Yes. But being out early means I saw the moon, Venus, and Jupiter lined up.
Sending thoughts of love & peace for your sister, you & family.
Thank you, Connie. She may hang on for a while, but life will never be easy for her again.
Thinking of you and your sister. Hopefully she will be at peace in this new place.
Thank you, Sue. She seemed to be rallying this morning.
Oh golly Dee. This is a hard row to hoe. I, also, am sending loving and peaceful thoughts to you and your sister as you make your way over this rough ground.
Thanks, Dana. I appreciate your thoughts.
Thoughts of love and comfort being sent your way…take care of you, Dee, ox.
I think it’s time for a little chocolate. Had a nice visit with N this morning. Cut her hair. We are calzones.
Holding you in my thoughts, Dee. Courage and love.
It sure why I’m anonymous
Hi Diane. Thanks so much. After today’s visit I’m not sure how much has changed. There will be more care and no one’s gonna try to get her to do PT, but?
I’m so sorry, Dee. I had a flood of memories and wonderings about N from our childhood last weekend. Proof, again, that there are channels of communication, important ones that I experience yet can’t understand in the moment. now this hard news. You are an anchor for her, her life jacket… true to her wishes, and now her wishes have changed. I just discovered Lucy Campbell’s paintings: https://i.etsystatic.com/isla/09d8a0/33827930/isla_280x280.33827930_sacab8cl.jpg?version=0
I found that image with this quote from Joseph Campbell: “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting us”. Women Who Run With Wolves comes to mind.
Thanks for your note, Maggie. Yes to those channels. I loved the image of the girl flying with the wolf and meant to show it to N this morning, but forgot. Next time.
(((Dee)))
Dee this road of travel for you and your sister is a hard one but you will walk it with love, strength, and all of the usual emotions that accompany such a journey…Holding you and your sister in my thoughts and heart as you both meet each day..
There is no easy way to do this, Dee. You’re providing love and support, which really is everything even if it doesn’t feel that way. Cry when you need to. Breathe always and know you are loved.
Well and you know MaryAnn. I love hearing about your afternoons with your mom.
You have been an amazing sister. May this part of the journey be gentle on you all, and know what a loving bunch of followers you have by your side.
The friends chiming here have been incredible…
So sorry, this stage has been reached. Love to you both.xx
Thanks Cathy. She seemed kind of her old self today. I suppose there are many more ups and downs to weather.
Oh dang Dee. I am sorry to not have been here sooner. I am sending you love and holding you deep in my heart.
Nancy — no apologies from now until one full year after you move. Are settled. Thanks for your open heart.