Tag Archives: Martha’s Vineyard

or not…

Island textures - they look like thread!

Island textures – they look like thread!

Trust disequilibrium,

or not.

It was all too much, on so many levels, and the puppy has been returned to the breeder.  We had dear sweet Atticus for one week.  What anguish produced by this misguided decision (mine)!  Tears aplenty.  And yet (though it is impossible to REALLY know),  it’s better this way.

Disheartened by the turn of events and the steely act of will required to take him back, I thought I’d rely on pictures from a year ago – something I like to do now and then, and in this case, it spared me looking around the house and noticing all the places where the puppy recently played or slept. Even his crapping spot has a certain nostalgia to it this afternoon.

A year ago I was on Martha’s Vineyard, among other things, making this:

SoulCollage – Adopting Jack

… which is a SoulCollage card made to mark the Adoption Day of our Corgi, Jack.  In the collage, ‘my guys’ are waiting in Salem, where we found Jack at a shelter.  This was seven years ago.  He had to be quarantined another day after meeting him, and so the photo is post-introduction but pre-pick up.  Interestingly, the splotchy abstract rug I used for the background expresses how this week’s mess feels!

Also made a Jack card at the time:

SoulCollage – Jack

The trip to the Vineyard meant not just making SoulCollage cards in the company of friends, but eating farm-fresh eggs and yogurt, and wonderfully prepared scallops and venison… it was the kind of trip that was going to be impossible for lots of time to come with a feisty, big dog on my hands.

Chilmark eggs

That’s not why he’s back with the breeder, but as the week went on it became increasingly clear that the care of this dog was going to cross right over into the empty nest.  My sister appropriately quipped, “menopause puppy”.

Today I will quietly finish Barn II, taking small satisfaction in the fact that the power strip can go back onto the floor.

Instead of asking myself to ‘trust disequilibrium’, I am asking for self-acceptance in the face of a bad decision and for my son D’s forgiveness.  My intentions were sterling, anyway.

Enough said.


“a path through the trees” in Chilmark, shot with the Sketchbook Project in mind (I missed the deadline! Wasn’t thinking about it at all!  And I don’t care!!!)…

Since being back from a weekend on the Vineyard, where the senses were feted by sea and rock and trees and food and friends, where the clutching concerns of daily life had a chance to relax, I am feeling things in my gut.  Tending to one’s gut can be instructive.  If I feel a little sick, as I have many times the last three mornings, I adjust what is right before me until I don’t.  This may be a faint bug asserting itself, but I more than half-wish it weren’t – I could use a feedback loop this insistent and obvious!

I’ve slowed a bit here.  Hurried other places.  Quilting a lot.  Working on creating new teaching gig, selling gig, and also tending to parental responsibilities.

Today, a two-man crew fixed our picket fence, and installed a gate where there had been none – in between the house and garage.  Now, the fence makes a ring around the backyard.  An enclosure.  Come spring, I will be able to garden out back with Jack and not worry about where he has trotted off to.  The renovation/repair echoes weekend discussions about boundaries.  Here is a novel way to view boundaries:

A boundary is a region, not a line.  It has the effect of defining what is included, as well as what is excluded.  In fact, it is a place of meeting and connection, for it’s where your edges meet mine… We don’t know much about boundaries.  Most of us have been taught to withhold ourselves behind invisible barriers… what we need to do is to find our edges and expand our awareness, to go deeper into our bodies.  This doesn’t mean shutting someone else out.  It means letting your needs in…

From, “No Enemies Within — A Creative Process for Discovering What’s Right about What’s Wrong” by Dawna Markova.

I love the idea that tending one’s boundary is about discovering one’s needs and including them, and not necessarily about keeping others out!  Going deeper into the body is a challenge, and one I feel ready to embrace.  I take a quote off the wall from the chiropractor’s office visited on Tuesday as further inspiration.  The article pointed out that  ‘even 10 minute bursts of activity provide the benefits of exercise’.

So, 10 minute bursts, here I come!  Stomach geiger-counter, I’m listening! Sketchbook Project – you will stay home this year!