Seven questions, one announcement

7 Questions:

Will I actually (finally) do the right thing and cancel my FB account if they allow trump back on? (Perhaps WHEN should be subbed for IF, since the whole thing has the stink of inevitability and greed about it).

Why am I so loggy in the morning these days?

How do you write a book as good as Hamnet?

Will it ever get warm here in the Northeast?

Does anything compare with a serendipitous trip down a rabbit hole while doing research for my novel (hint: it involves the Quakers in 1758)?

Why can’t I leave comments on blogger blogs? Damn — I keep trying!

When ineptitude or real glitches prevent me from sharing an audio file (in this case, a reading of the chapter that I wrote after emerging from the rabbit hole) is that a signal that I shouldn’t?

How does the rain make Finn’s coat so very soft?

Okay. That was eight questions.

1 Announcement:

I am going to L.A. at the end of the month for two weeks.

Read that part again.

The girl who couldn’t find QTIPs or her car in the parking lot last week during a simple run to CVS will be flying solo through Denver to LA right before Memorial Day.

I’ll be part of my brother’s care routine and we’ll also see BOTH BOYS. K will join a few days after I arrive. We’ll fly Young One in from Colorado.

I’m a little nervous about being OF USE in my brother’s household. Confident about kitchen routines. Less sure about everything else. The good news is that he has the strength to aid in his transfers now and can manage toileting on his own.

Flashback. I may have told you that the worst part of helping my dying sister with her toileting was how — even in a severely weakened state — she made a devilish rally to tell my how I was doing it all wrong. The shit didn’t phase me in the least.

You know that story about the poor Mexican boy separated from his mother at age 15, reunited with her yesterday after THREE YEARS? I almost cried to see him patting his mother’s back, squeezing her shoulder, tugging on her hair — the gestures saying not only, I love you / I missed you, but are you REAL?

Also heart breaking because they were not the gestures of an eighteen year old, but of a much, much younger child.

No comparison, NONE, but how could I not sit there and make my own tally?

By the end of May, it’ll be nearly A YEAR AND A HALF since we saw our kids.

PS Lest you think Noreen was pure ogre, let me tell you she had a real gift with geraniums. Look at how her plants have thrived even in my northern window!


24 thoughts on “Seven questions, one announcement

  1. snicklefritzin43

    so Quakers in the story…did you know that is where I walk with my life? The history is strong, amazing and still very much alive today

  2. Joanne in Maine

    Shout out hello to my California son up in Silicon Valley while you are there. It is raining here in Maine again but I am okay with another dreary day. Facebook is going to consider for another six months. Perhaps they will consider all the other stuff that is just as awful???? And remove it?

    1. deemallon Post author

      Too bad FB couldn’t go for an all out ban but another six months is better than letting him on. I tried to comment on your blog this morning. Wanted to say that I understand how much knowing one can live alone and thrive is important to a person.

  3. deb

    I forgot how long, how many holidays, birthdays, gatherings its been for you and other families and can’t imagine it what with mine underfoot and just up the road a few minutes. What a time it’s going to be for you. Finn will be in good care?

    We have to talk about Hamnet.

    1. deemallon Post author

      Just finished novel. Omg. She’s up there with Hilary Mantel and Danielle Dutton. What an extraordinary book. Maybe I’ll reread Hamlet this week (she said). Can’t wait to talk to try and figure out what made it such a great narrative.

      1. Deborah Lacativa

        Every waking moment was aimed at survival. There was no leisure time that was not stolen.

  4. Marti

    Understand the nervousness but Dee, be confident in the fact that just seeing you, will be some of the best and strongest “healing” for your brother, as will seeing your boys, both for you, and for him. Your caring instincts and strength will guide you and as to the rest, when he tastes your culinary delights, well, what a healthy, nourishing and loving Rx for him, as well as for you.

    1. deemallon Post author

      You offer an important reminder. Thanks so much for that Marti. He and I are the last two standing. There is a kind of solidarity and tenderness in that that I didn’t expect.

  5. Marti

    Forgot to mention Maggie O’Farrell, author of Hamnet: Haven’t read this but did read her book, “The Hand That First Held Mine” which won the 2010 Costa book award. Mesmerizing book, two timelines that simply flowed although I had guessed the significance before the end but that did not take away from the superb ability of O’Farrell to draw me into the story and hold me enthralled up to the last word…

    1. deemallon Post author

      I am so happy to discovered that she has a body of work waiting for me to discover. Most of my absolute favorite white contemporary writers hale from the UK or Ireland. Interesting, huh?

  6. Tina

    Waiting for warmer weather .. I total get that. Flying solo I totally get that too. 😳Flying out Saturday to visit my sister in SC how a week. Everything Dee said about visiting with your brother I so agree with. And seeing your son also will be grand!! Haven’t seenBerni in 3 years .. had planned a trip last spring but like so many of us our travel plans had to be put on hold. Sending a boat load of travel Blessings ✈️

    1. deemallon Post author

      SC! Lucky you! I know from what I follow on Instagram that it is really beautiful there now. Some flowering bushes like gardenia might be over, but still. Hope you can see Bernie this year. Happy travels to you, too!

  7. Anonymous

    Oh *so* happy for you, Dee! 🤩 It’ll be great, I bet you’ll navigate it better than you think. Just like you danced through your vaccine adventure – wasn’t that it? Very excited for you and K, C, D and B.
    My sister L is coming up for M’s burial in TL. She was such a wreck about flying I said, “hey, if you get a wheel chair you’ll be totally handled”. Whoa mama was that the wrong thing to say!! She turns eighty this year and is a little sensitive, I guess.
    Maybe I should stop watching “Succession”?

    Great to read everyone’s responses here about Hamnet. I love the book recommendations I gather from this group.
    That last b&w photo of yours made me cry, yo!

    xx – M

  8. Nancy

    Oh how grand for you…your brother and your boys! I think (hope) the pandemic has made some more forgiving, I wouldn’t worry too much. Enjoy the time together. An online conference I just did, one of the speakers kept using the phrase ‘you only know what you know’. So true.
    And I was thinking the same thing about the mom and boy story…the gestures of a much younger person, of the child he was. Sigh.

    1. deemallon Post author

      I like that phrase: you only know what you know. It takes pressure off somehow. I want to add this one too: trust what you already know. That’s more about doubt I think.

  9. Liz A

    I just had a letter returned because I failed to put a stamp on it … I’m taking that as a sign it wasn’t meant to be sent in the first place

    and “goin’ to California … on a big jet plane” … such memories waiting to be made … all shall be well and all shall be well …

    1. deemallon Post author

      Ha. Stamps! I just came from grocery store and the feeling that I am reclaiming chunks of life will go on for some time I think. Even though I’ve shopped a few times over the last year. I did decide that it wasn’t advisable to share that chapter — especially since it may end up containing the closing words to the book.

  10. Acey

    Am beyond thrilled for your entire family. To the point where my inner directive is to go all caps and break out the multiple exclamation points. Also interested in the rabbit hole but a little bit waving it impatiently aside in favor of the family reunion news. I love thinking about it. It’s a very satisfying ‘story resolution’ from a cancerian perspective.

    for me the biggest rabbit hole in my own endeavor has been getting up every day and clocking in for x amount of time like it’s a job that actually matters. I wonder all the time where this kind of caper is leading me, just in terms of how much it’s changed my behavior and self-perceptions.


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