You know you’re getting older when your doctors all start looking like they’re twelve. Okay, okay, 21.
Of course they’re not that young, but you get my point. How much faith, you wonder, can I put in this fresh-faced medical professional? Exactly how long has it been since they finished their residency?
Back when I was diagnosed with osteoporosis and had to start seeing an endocrinologist again, I almost didn’t consult Dr. R because he was so young.
Well.
He has upended my belief that older is better. Dr R is just great. He takes time to explain things. He’s not medication-happy and he sees people on time. And, this really matters, he looks at his computer, yes, but has it oriented so that he can also look at me.
(How many of you have had the experience of looking at a doctor’s back while they study a screen. I’m right here, you want to say…)
Anyway, Dr R is not only equipped with an above-average bedside manner, he is Italian. Still has a charming accent and everything. I mentioned our upcoming trip in May and shared that one of my goals was to eat a beautiful plate of fried artichokes in the Roman Jewish District.
(Don’t laugh! We just had dinner with friends whose checklist for Budapest included 14 varieties of cake!)
Even though in my limited experience, it’s hard to get a poorly cooked artichoke in Italy, I was psyched to get a recommendation.
When I got home, I made reservations. Bing! That easy! Then I looked the restaurant up on a map and found that it’s a six minute walk from our lodgings. This was one of those times when I bowed down before the internet.
Whew! Not only was this delightful in and of itself, the referral/reservation also served as contrast to other matters that are not easily resolved, not moving forward.
What? No interference? No radically differing timetables of need? No sticker shock or incomprehensible details?
(Think: self-publishing and hiring exterminators. We now know there are squirrels in our walls).
Good thing because today offers more rain and more jackhammering.
personally I’m a huge fan of young doctors/dentists et cetera, not just because they’re up to speed on almost everything relevant, they’ll probably outlive one, so I feel assured they’re here to stay my time on this planet…..hurray to making reservations! isn’t it Amazing how some things Work! you’re visiting Italy again, how exciting, I wish you a wonderful trip….if you have time to drop by in The Netherlands, know you are welcome in our home
Yes there’s that too — being up to date and the probability of them outliving you. Good points both!
Right now our wish list includes the Canadian Rockies and somewhere in Africa where we could see elephants. I haven’t been to the Grand Canyon or Zion. But if we’re ever near you, how nice it would be to visit!
Your journey will be amazing!!!
Yes I can’t wait!
For a somewhat different take on Drs, this is a comment I left today on grace’s blog. She spoke of vulnerability and humility:
“Humility, vulnerability and finally, ego: Given the health issues that my husband has faced with over the past two years, humility and vulnerability have been my companions but this year, a change: As I became more comfortable with the “med-speak”, the 25 syllable scientific words used by some of the Drs. when speaking to us, I had had enough. From humility and vulnerability to a rising ego fueled by anger at being sometimes dismissed, I began to do research and brought questions and my findings to our appointments. I asked them to break down their language, and over time, they did so, listened, began to ask us questions instead of pontificating and slowly and respectfully, a more caring health partnership has emerged. One other aspect to all of this besides, vulnerability, humility and ego; simply, gratitude.”
Now then artichokes: Any way you fix them, they are so good. Simple, with aioli for dipping or stuffed like my Mom used to make; with ground lamb, garlic, freshly chopped parsley, homemade tomato sauce and topped with French bread crumbs.
So happy for you that you are going to Italy. Cannot wait for what you will share with us, especially the food. “Buon Viaggio.” When I think of Italy, first thought is always of food. I’ve never been to Italy but grew up among Italians who showed their joy and love by their food. I was just remembering how every Easter, several of our Italian friends would come to my parents home, bearing Pizza Rustica, Easter pie consisting of a double layer of crust, top and bottom. The pie was filled with usually provolone, mozzarella, sausages, eggs and fresh herbs. Could be eaten at warm temperature and made many a fine lunch. In return, they enjoyed my Mother’s Easter leg of lamb.
Just about anything you eat in Italy will be a divine experience and yes, I meant the word divine for enjoying Italian food is a spiritual undertaking.. As Italian chef Lidia Bastianich says, “Tutti a Tavola a Mangiare, Everyone to the table to eat.”!
More and more I see how both the complexity of our medical care and its fracturing into specialties requires an advocate. Your husband is lucky to have you with him as he navigates all his appointments. And good for you for educating yourself and speaking up on his behalf.
I remember once when my sister had diarrhea— for days and days — and I asked her home health aide (or visiting nurse) if it might be because of Medication x. She poo-pooed me so I showed her the list of side effects online. They were always surprised I even knew what meds my sister was taking.
Ha. We were just talking about this age aspect the other day. After the past two years we’ve had, we have moved from ‘what are they, like 12?!!’ to ‘she’s so young and energetic (when we are not so much), she’s on top of everything (when I’m having to write Everything down)’ and so on. we have begun to appreciate their youth, without missing our own. But, we DO still say this about reporters on the news 😁
The “on time” aspect IS important to me, but I have made an exception for a very good dermatologist – the one who caught my BIL skin cancer after another one missed it. I usually wait at least an hour for him, which until this year, has felt worth it as he is very good and mentors new doctors in his department. He’s The Guy. haha
I agree with both Saskia’s and Marti’s points as well. I ask a lot of (hopefully intelligent and somewhat informed) questions and write down as much as I can. I ask them to put certain things in my record that I will be able to access later (either through the medical portal (talk about bowing down to the internet!!!) or the paper copy I’m handed). In this way things don’t get confused in the translation. I ask for certain paper copies. I request ‘orders’ from a doctor, which are coming through a nurse also be written down, on the record (if they lean towards the complicated or important).
It’s exhausting and imperative. I also work to get all of the information, other opinions if needed and so on when making a new, bigger decision (like about the osteoporosis).
Even with all of that, I often feel confused and overwhelmed and ill-informed. But, I keep trying. There is something about feeling proactive, to the best of one’s ability.
I’m pretty sure this is a topic I could speak to even more, but I’ll settle down now and wish you the best on your upcoming trip. I’ve spent very little time traveling, but know that you will find so much to explore, taste, see and enjoy! I can’t wait to see pics when you return!
Be well.
You have been on the steep slope of learning, haven’t you? Again the idea of having an advocate seems so so important. I LOVE the patient portal. I can take my time with the results and google things. These days the follow up letters feel like after thoughts.
Yes, In do the same, but make a point of googling medical terms only, for the most part. I don’t allow myself to go too deep down the rabbit hole and scar the crap out of myself! haha
And yes, the mailed letters, sometimes even the phone call is like: yeah, yeah, I know! haha But, I try to have questions, concerns or continuing thoughts ready and remind myself to keep and open mind…they are the educated professionals and will understand things more than I do. In other words – don’t panic Nancy!
You make the observation about how easy it is to read info as an amateur and assume the absolute worst! “I either have a splinter or am suffering from an aneurysm.” Ha ha.
Lot’s of interesting conventions going on here … I agree with liking younger doctors for many of the reasons already mentioned. Artichokes my mom loved them .. how amazing that the very restaurant recommended is within walking distance. What app did you use to figure that out .. I would not have even thought of doing that but now I’m thinking it might come in handy for our Alaska trip. I know you’re going to all have an amazing time in Italy … when are you going?
I just used google maps. I had the address for our lodging and the restaurant’s street address and asked for the route. Where are you going in Alaska? We headed to Italy in mid-May.
Standard 7 day cruises ..Juneau – Skagway – Glacier Bay – Ketchikan – Victoria. I’m excited for your family and mine. Praying we all have nice weather. Thanks for the info .. never thought about Google maps.
My in-laws did a similar trip. It was very memorable for them.
I absolutely love artichokes … so it is beyond delightful that soon-to-be-seven-year-old Parker shares that appreciation … her weekly visits to our house most often include a dinner of grilled steak, artichokes (pressure cooked with leaves dipped in melted butter), and popovers (which she makes herself these days, with a minor assist from me when it comes to using the oven)
as for fried artichokes, I’m a fan of the Sugarfire Smokehouse version in St Louis …
I’m amazed to read this menu since it was often my mother’s in a Friday night but instead of popovers, baked potatoes.