It’s been five months since I started my full-time job. Five months since I was stepping regularly into that river of creative play. Five months since I had the solitary quiet of Mondays to replenish my reserves. Five months since I was in a documenting groove of photographing my world and posting things here, and feeling the excitement of something building.
It’s still the right decision and things have a way of chugging along on a curve that feels to have an upward and onward progression, but this week as I sew like a madwoman in the evenings readying my wares for Saturday, I am remembering all that I am missing, and I am missing it.
Dee, I am so sympathetic – it’s been 18 months for me in a job with a long commute and just enough pay to keep going without, well, going anywhere, and everything else in my life feels neglected. Every day I argue with myself – I’m lucky and grateful to have a job but I’m struggling to do the things that matter most.
Hi Elaine, thanks for your note… I know the argument well… usually contains that most hated phrase “… in this economy…” Gratitude here, too, and a sense of doing right by my kids. I will focus on that tonight.
do you at least have a commute? a little time to muse? or do you drive to work?
ah, I know why you ask this Jude, remembering that you used to commute into the city and sew for that time (and, isn’t that part of why you developed a style of hand sewing on pieces that fit on your lap?). My cousin, Ginny Mallon, does all her blogging riding the train from Crab Meadow, Long Island into New York. But, I drive. Thankfully, I can leave the house at 8:47 and still be in the office before nine. But here is my good news — I recently bought a sweet table just big enough for one of my Berninas that looks pretty in the living room, and once this show is over, I plan to keep some baskets of strips, batting, laces and threads upstairs so that I can keep going with evening sewing (and get back to the weaving and the villages… )
thanks for checking in!
Hi Dee, I was just thinking about you – exactly – today, and this post answered the question I was wondering about. What can I say? I am so frustrated just ‘sewing in the evenings’ – but no respite in sight. I have been fortunate to steal a little extra time for quilting this fall, and discovered creativity is still there, but its never easy.
I’m thinking of you, and a fulfilling Saturday for you tomorrow.
Hi Diane — I would love to see what you’ve been working on.
I know ten minutes add up and add up to an hour eventually, and then eventually to many hours and I am going to keep logging those ten minutes… But it is not the same. How to talk about without falling into complaint mode is one of the many, many challenges.
“I am remembering all that I am missing, and I am missing it.” That is so beautifully said! I feel it, too, in the middle of this chaotic house, with all my things in boxes in a shed. It feels like a kind of limbo. I spent 30 years working full-time in all kinds of jobs, and I think it got harder as I got older. Maybe when we are young we have such a sense of life stretching on forever that we don’t feel as trapped, and as we get older, time begins to feel more precious. When I was working full-time, I always tried to get up an hour earlier each day so I could write, and that hour was such a treasure to me. I need to do a better job of remembering that now. Take good care of yourself, Dee. One day at a time. One hour at a time. Your creativity is just biding its own time, waiting to burst forth. xo Kari
Keep the faith Dee, you are so talented, you will find a pattern and the time…it is still an adjustment period.
People think I am crazy carrying the blackberry with me all the time but it is such a handy thing to write with. I keep tons of ideas, starts and works in progress in my back pocket and kick things out either as they occur to me or as I can.
You might need to think about modifying your medium. I miss painting like a friend but photography, for me, fits the bill for now because it is so quick. The muse is always the same, just the outfit changes.
I hope you had great success at the sale. I will shop on etsy for xmas that is for sure. Did I tell you I will be in Boston in Dec. Maybe we can meet while I am there?
Hope you get it all done xo
So, was it this past Saturday or next Saturday? I was at a crafts extravaganza in Princeton this past weekend. There was nothing there like what you do. Some good dinosaur toys… otherwise beautiful clothing and jewelry and baskets and bowls and paintings and prints and photos and candles.
I wish you would get a Guggenheim or something like that! Don’t forget to apply? 😉
I hope you are able to work creativity back into your life on a regular basis! Maybe this late night stitching in prep for your sale will be the first step. Hope it’s wildly successful!
I know about this. I love the work I do and I am lucky in that, but sometimes I just wish for more time. So many ideas to pursue…
Keep the faith, Dee. Breath is faith is art. It’ll always be there for you.