to submit to something

Last week, a PBS News Hour interviewer asked our new poet laureate, Tracy K. Smith, why she wrote poetry. Her answer? ‘Because it forces you to submit to something’.

The evocative phrase has lingered.

What do you submit to and why — and if enduring something is different from submitting to it, is there a way to convert one to the other? Maybe reverence is involved. Silence? I might cleverly suggest that karma dictates what we endure, while our gifts and aspirations determine places of submission, but that seems facile. Oversimplification is not what’s called for here.

An examination of distractions, might be, though.

TV-viewing habits are ‘up’ right now, starting with a disastrous re-boot about a week ago, after which I was left with sound but no picture (well, and another entry in the annals called, “Only When K is in China”).  I submitted (wrong word!) to watching a little local, live TV in the kitchen now and then. There was a mood of nostalgia and curious forbearance. I read more.

Next came a four or five hour power outage, leaving me with no TV whatsoever. It wasn’t like I was dying to watch local news or catch up on reruns of ‘Get Smart’, but if the reboot was a nudge, the subsequent power outage was a kick in the shins. I wanted to read the synchronicity for the fullness of its message — to submit to it.

The power outage was precipitated by a dramatic shorting wire out front. It was a real emergency.  After hearing a loud crackle and seeing a lightening-like flash, I went to investigate, thinking I’d be reassuring myself that it wasn’t electrical.

reddressblur_deemallon - CopyInstead, I was greeted by a series of violent flashes up in my neighbor’s maple tree. Ill-positioned wires had heated up the bark, igniting it in two places. I dashed in to take shelter behind my neighbor’s front door while she called 911. Children and nanny clustered ’round. “It might’ve used me to go to ground,” I said in slight panic.

Soon, the zapping melted the wires, leaving one end dangling from the pole nearest our driveway and draping the other along the road like a venomous snake playing dead. A teen-aged boy emerged from across the street. I quipped, “You can tell E. is home alone,” but then as he approached stuck my head out to holler, “Stay back! That wire might be live!”I could tell my neighbor thought me a little hysterical. Perhaps because I cussed out her landscaper last week? No matter. Thanks to my electrical engineer father’s pragmatic warnings about current and conductivity over the course of my entire childhood, I knew mine was not an overwrought assessment of the danger.

Firemen arrived, police set up yellow tape, etc.

Once the wires were severed, it was safe to return home and await the restoration of power. Then, two thunderstorms rolled through.

As if it wasn’t enough for the elements to cut off my power, the first storm filled the house with a preternatural dark. I donned a ‘miner’s lamp’ and carefully climbed the garage-attic ladder to fetch our camping lantern, although I’m not sure why, since my last solo attempt at lighting it nearly set the Sangre de Cristo mountains on fire. I wasn’t likely to give it another try.

I gathered a few candles for later and made myself a tasty chicken salad. I wondered if our hot water heater held enough hot water for a bath (it does). Soon sun flooded the back room again and I read Smith’s memoir “Ordinary Light.”*


Not long after, the canopy out back set up a noisy rattle, signaling imminent rain. The display made me wonder: when had I stopped submitting myself to summer storms?

The metaphors swirl, still — restoration of power, providing ground, a live wire, electrical storms rolling through, sudden, zapping current.

The repair guy arrived at the height of it. Seeing him up in his metal bucket, head in the trees and handling electrical wires was unnerving, but I had to assume he knew all the safety precautions. As the sky pulsed with lightening, the power came back on in three waves. The fridge resumed its humming. I padded about, resetting the digital clocks, glad to be capable of that at least.


*I’ll refrain from commenting until I’m done. How my opinion of Plum Johnson changed between when posting and finishing her memoir!


15 thoughts on “to submit to something

  1. deemallon

    it WAS scary. luckily people were around to notice, otherwise I suppose it could have turned into a real fire.

  2. Sue Batterham

    It’s lucky it was a maple, not a eucalyptus tree. It happens here and starts large bush fires in summer.

    1. deemallon

      This is hardly country but nothing like NYC either. Now it’s just sticky sticky hot. And there is extra quiet because so many people leave to go to the cape.

  3. snicklefritzin43

    Scary times, indeed. Glad you were witness and made good decisions on the calls. Well written, kept me engaged in the story, for sure. Just last week I placed a hold for “ordinary Light” at the library..hoping it will be here soon – have read a few good reviews and look forward to reading yours as well.
    More thunder storms due here tomorrow…always the lightening and the threat of wild fires in these parts. Dutch elms in town shed many branches and often spit and fall during the storms. Just a few power outages so far this year but lots of lightening and thunder…some beautiful skies come with the passing storms.

    1. deemallon

      I think you’ll enjoy the memoir. I’m about a third through. The writing is really really good and her family’s interesting. Love what she says about “home”. Hope you stayed safe through the storms and will continue to. Those fires out your way can be so terrifying !

  4. peggyvonburg

    Pretty wild — got a chuckle out of made myself a tasty chicken salad,
    I was thinking to submit is to be receptive and to endure is to resist….

    1. deemallon

      Interesting take on submitting and enduring. Instantly I get the receptivity of submission but I need to think more about enduring as a form of resistance. Your comment might be a way in to that question: is there a way to convert one to the other?


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