This is a poem I wrote two years ago.
Solstice Means Sun Standing Still
Even when lids shut, the tissue
aquiver — the scroll of light
rolling on, a form of damnation.
I want to go through my days,
my nights, like a rib cage.
Each curving spear connected
at a central pole. Sure
in form, sure in purpose,
protecting the two wind
lobes and the single beating
fist — lungs and heart safer
for the bony embrace.
Instead, a vibrato of uncertainty.
How has the non-tactile
flow of damage gained ascendancy
over sinew and nerve,
crowding out all the places
in the body that crave
One day those ribs will spear
dirt and crumble. Shouldn’t the body
being Hand Maiden to Death wake
us out of stupor now
Let me eat a cracker
with a smidge of butter.
Let me sweep the steps free of snow
and then sleep under a blanket
that whispers ‘hallelujah.’
Let the sun falling on tabletops
The Solstice is here.
Let ‘standing still’ mean something.
Personal update: the bad news is live-in caregiver up and quit. The good news is that I got to see my brother walk.