We attended our first online support group for parents of children who killed themselves last night. It felt intimate and safe and allowed Ken and me to feel seen and heard in a powerful way. And of course, hearing about other people’s experience was nourishing and helpful, even when deeply sad.
Overheard: It takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to lose a child.
This photo occupies a shelf next to where I write. Yesterday, I noticed the sign. Remember the waking dream reference to Lake of the Clouds?
So good to know that the support group is a good place for you. Those are people to whom you don’t have to explain the minutiae of your pain and loss, and those details are where the deepest grief can hide and become a trap door. And those trap doors are torturous.
So much fucking hard work.
Yes. Well said. And the work is often subterranean but no less exhausting.
I am glad to hear it went well, Dee. I keep thinking about that tree stump and what it takes to extract that, as a metaphor. Tears still just under the surface of my skin pop through frequently. It has got to help to be with other parents who walk in similar shoes to yours. It is fucking unbelievable. love you.
Yeah that metaphor has stayed with me as well. It feels too violent though for what I suspect lies ahead. It’s like the arborist’s version of a root canal.
I am glad that you found a good and much needed support group. Walking in the same shoes. Shoes no-one wants to wear but yet……..
And yet. Here we are.
Helping each other navigate through, just being there. Rough seas.
Dee~ Oh this is so good to read…that you two felt seen and supported and could participate together. Sending love.
Good to read that it went well for you and Ken … I’m so glad you have each other.
That picture of Danny and Finn is so dear. How heartbreaking life can be. There are no words.
The support group sounds good. I think about the friends you and Ken may make not necessarily there but with some ones who know your loss.