Will spring in all its heady flourishing from here on out remind me of this season of sorrow?
Next year when the peony buds unfist and open and droop under the weight of their beauty, will they force a count — another year without Danny?
My neighbor paused on her way out for a walk recently to tell me that this plaster figure reminds her of Danny. I had always thought of it as female, but now I see it. I see him.
Speaking of the dead, take a look at the sweet little blue flowers of the forget-me-not. Like so many plants in the garden, they tell a story.
After my mother died, I dug up a couple of healthy clumps of forget-me-nots from her yard and planted them out front. With a name like theirs, I thought them a perfect memento — until they all disappeared, that is. They lasted two seasons, maybe.
My mother died in 1996 which means I counted the forget-me-nots as a loss in 1998. So imagine my surprise when this spring, some 28 years later, a brave and lovely forget-me-not showed up among the astilbe.
How does nature do things like this?
With a sense of wonder and gratitude, I moved the little clump to where it would have more room. It lives under the golden chain tree now.
Hi Mom.
We fly to California tomorrow. Since about February, I’ve often been waking between five and six a.m. It’s 5:31 as I type right now. You know what that means, don’t you? In Los Angeles I’ll be waking between 2:00 and 3:00 for at least for a handful of days.
No matter. I can’t wait to see Billy and Cary and the dog Lila and to dwell for a while in that beautiful California light.
I was just gonna say…you’re up early.
Yeah typically I’m more of a seven o’clock kinda person.
As gorgeous as your garden is, and your home, I am happy to hear you are looking forward to your trip to CA. That quilt of your mom and Danny is sooo beautiful.
It seems time to get there, right?
Every time I go to the Left Coast I feel like the world is cleaner there. Though I’ve only visited the loveliest of places. LA is unreal to me in every imaginable way, so even the bad parts seem like TV. May you and K be safe, may you take in those hugs from your dear ones there wholly and frequently. I wish I could take walks with you these days. Yesterday I walked with a good friend in NJ. She’s fallen in love at the age 75. I am so excited for her because she is just so happy she glows. She lost the love of her life to a long bout of cancer a few years ago and communicates with him all the time. She asked him if it was ok to fall in love with this guy and he nodded yes, smiling. Life is beginning to seem unreal. Have you read “Journey of Souls” by Michael Newton, PhD? And I’m reading The Beginning Comes After the End by Solnit. You read so many books so fast I don’t know what to send you. LMK sometime.
Safe and swift travels, Dee.
Love – M
I love the story of your 75 year old friend. What joy! Especially when so unexpected.
I’m really not reading all that much these days. Books that is. It’s really starting to bug me. Maybe at Billy’s it’ll be easier. All those World Cup soccer games are gonna fill the house for many many hours. I can sit out back.
ok 🙂
Just ordered the book. It’ll be shipped to Billy’s. The only books I’ve devoured this spring are about death and what happens “beyond the veils.” It looks interesting to say the least.
Dee~ Such beautiful flowers! I love how the forget-me-nots showed back up…your mom and Danny linked arms smiling at you 🙂 The quilt is so beautiful and well done. What a gift.
Astilbe is one of the flowers I just looked up recently. There are so many amazing things to see when we look to nature.
I bet it will be great to see Billy and Cary and hang out here for a bit. That last photo is amazing!
xo
Thanks for checking in. You remind me to go and look for that glass house vase today. I have a sense of where it might be. BTW I am keeping up with your blog even if I’m not commenting lately.
I live vicariously through other peoples gardens. Yours is lovely. I live in a condo and have three houseplants. Enjoy CA. The first thing I notice out there is the light. It is so different than east coast light. I do not know why.
The difference between the light on the west coast and the east coast is so far something I cannot put into words. Maybe I’ll try next week.
Safe travels to the land of light, loyal leftists and luminous people…so of course I would say this since my daughters, grand kids, son-in-law, daughter’s partner and friends live in CA!
Nature is such a spirit holder, a giver of blessings, a maker of special signs…it is no accident that after all of this time, a tiny but oh so powerful forget- me- not has popped up. You are getting ready to take a journey to see Cary and your brother. In the lovely and moving quilt that Lisa made of your Mom and Cary, you see such love. Your Mom is letting you know that although she was not with you when Danny was born, she is with him now. This forget- me- not blossoming now is not a random fluke. It is your Mom telling you that she is with Danny, making room for him, in MA while you are gone, but also that both she and he, will be with you in CA…it is a way of letting you know that love is ever present.
Well THIS made me cry. It hadn’t even occurred to me, the part about them being together.
Cheers for forget-me-nots, embracing light, and a trip to my side of the land.
I’ve been listening to my son’s latest album and these lyrics keep playing in my head-
So I set my bearings
To trust the unknown
To see what I’d learn
If I did this alone
Fabulous words written / sung by your son. To think about mortality is by definition to think about what it means to be alone.
Forget Me Not and a Visit with your brother… who will talk you thru the rough spots….
Yes I imagine he will. When he’s not watching the World Cup, that is. I’ll bet you’ll be watching too!
Aren’t we lucky to have so many blooming plants to enjoy. That for-get-not story is similar to my story related to my mom although as hard as I tried over the years I never had luck having them come back. I’m really happy yours did.
Safe travels tomorrow and have a wonderful California visit .. I’m really happy you’ll have your brother to talk to .. share memories with.
😘🤗🙏
Tina
Yes incredibly lucky. I loved the FB clip of your yard in the rain. So pretty! Such a nice sound!