My first fall without you since you were born thirty years ago.
The crickets sing
and the breeze makes the down-hanging maple branches sway.
The light is fading. Fall comes. Fall comes and you will not be in it.
I sweep the patio, remembering the sound of your voice. A bird zooms
past within inches of my head, an energetic thrumming.
Was that you?
I think of birds. And bees. Like that .❤️
I’ve learned that so many people do. And butterflies.
ladybugs … (liz a)
I’ve read about people visited by ladybugs. Lovely, I think.
Loving how the power lines in the last photo look like support lines from the heavens.
I see that now.
Healing after Loss by Martha W. Hickman is a book given to me by a dear friend when Rich died. It has 365 days of grieving meditations, with words on each,by the author. She lost her teenage daughter when she died after falling off a horse. Some of the quotes are religious, I take what I can from those. Others are from authors, poets, philosophers, etc. To come here today, Sept. 7 and read about the bird who visited you, is a synchronous moment for me, The quote from today, Sept 7, in this book, is by poet, Theodore Roethke:
“Snail, snail glister me forward,
Bird,soft-sigh me home.
Worm, be with me
This is my hard time.”
Martha speaks of how, when we are in our grief times, large issues of the day tend to take a back seat and we seek comfort in the small, vulnerable creatures, etc.” I’ve thought about this as I’ve sat outside, before daybreak, listening to birds, watching a neighbor walk his dogs, noticing the dance of a lizard, up a nearby stucco wall. I will admit to pulling away, somewhat, from the large issues, for my sanity at times, due to the many daily hits from this regime. Grieving, has left me at times, feeling more vulnerable than usual but the spark of outrage is there somewhere because it erupted this morning due to an article in my local newspaper. It seems that the evil that sits in the Black House, formerly known as the White House, wants to change the name of the state I live in from New Mexico to New America! Let me tell you, there are not enough birds, dogs or lizards, to stifle my outrage or, hysterical laughter!!
I too have felt more vulnerable. Two people gave me the book you’re citing. It’s been tucked away and your post reminds me to set it where I can access it daily.
I saw that about renaming New Mexico. Just such assholery. I probably spend too much time on Threads reading about what’s going on.
Marti~ I thought about you in the Dumb one’s most recent re-naming project. Waiting for an ending.
Dee~ Each day, but also each new transition, holiday, event, time…each one will hold you stronger than before because you are missing your beloved Danny. Speak his name, for he lives on within you and with those of us you choose to share with.
Your photos are as stirring as your words to convey what this season is bringing you, finding comfort where you can.
You are a real mensch Nancy.
Beautiful, Dee.
❤️