I couldn’t wait to set my ironing board back up. Who else do you know who’d say that? On the day after, the house still sparkled. Ahhh. That post-entertaining benefit.
Pictures of Dan are still up up on three large pin boards — his face at two, thirteen, twenty-two, eighteen, 11 months, twenty-nine, six, fourteen.
None at age 30.
Dan in Newton, Rockport, Boulder, New York, Las Vegas, Longmont. Dan at Patriots’ games, EMT training, on a bridge in Florence, on snowy mountain slopes, Yosemite, at the orthodontist’s office. And on. And on.
When we talk about memories and the dead, we usually are talking about memories held by those who survive. But I wonder about HIS memories. Where did they go? Are they anywhere?
I cried for most of the day.
Memory and tears: I’ve never thought about where a departed loved ones memories go. Taking your words this morning outside to my patio, sitting breathing in the fresh, moist, breezy air, due to the rains from last night and even now. I opened myself to your question of memory: What I believe is that their memories stay with them, wrapped around them, as a cloak of connection and communication, that allows them, now and then, to continue to be with us, to communicate their presence for they know, most of all, that they mattered and were so deeply loved.
Words from John O’Donohue:
“ Though we need to weep your loss, You dwell in that safe place in our hearts Where no storm or night or pain can reach you. Your love was like the dawn brightening over our lives, Awakening beneath the dark A further adventure of color.” .
I like your idea. And it fits with the notion of an ongoing spirit.
I recently heard something like this: when a person in their 80’s dies, it’s the equivalent of a library burning to the ground. A violent image, yes, but I get the point.
I thought that was Jen’s artwork on your card 🪶 she always makes such beautiful drawings! 💙
And no I don’t understand the urge to iron! for me only when necessary for quilt making. 😁
❤️🩹🕊️
Yes Jen has an incredible and distinctive style! Notably the card contained a white feather.
It was a beautiful gathering, Dee. Each space full of people sharing this terrible grief (through you and Ken and among family and friends – many. The sharing of this unfathomable loss, deep sorrow and unending love for your Dan’s intense and sweet love of life during his life. And your gift to us communicated in every possible dimension with cellular level personal sensitivity, comfort and caring.
It was beautiful. So many parts of it. I was happy that Scott talked about how extremely talented Dan was at skateboarding because I’d said so but he wrapped the idea in a ribbon and tied a bow on it.
I will eventually share my eulogy here and some of Danny’s writing about skateboarding.
♥️ that was so great! It made me feel like what it might have been like to have Danny’s acumen.
Dee~ Mmm? Never pondered where their memories go, but my first thought was that I guess that depends on what you believe happens next. But, I do hope that whatever happens next, one has those loves, those experiences…those strengths and challenges woven in to the fabric of their next trip.
The feather card is lovely, as is the quote Marti shared.
My ironing board is up, collecting materials for Power Sticks, including a heap of tea dyed strips waiting for the iron, which is still not pulled out for the job! ha.
So glad you all had a meaning-filled day (and yes, a clean house is sure a perk of the afterwards!).
xo
I’m still formulating what I believe. But listen to this: I chose WIND to be my source of signs from Danny this week and just now when I got up to go to the side door, there was the CU Boulder flag. The wind hand blown it off its nails and delivered it to our doorstep.
Dee~ Yep. I believe it. Send your love out on that wind!
That smell, when the iron is first heating up, I find it comforting. Hope it does the same for you too. ♥️
Same. It reminds me of my mother. Also, the smell of the cloth if there’s sizing still on it.