Category Archives: writing

Stray Sketches : Lucy (I)

 

 

Here are a couple of sketches written about Lucy Audubon. I was reading biographies when I wrote this post, by way of background.

 

Rebecca — a sketch
She is the daughter of a plantation owner in Louisiana. Her mother has hired Lucy as a tutor.

Rebecca’s even temper had a notable exception. She hated her younger sister — all that flashing warmth and dimples and approval. How without even trying she drew people to her, and not just any people, but young men, men with properties and approving parents. Sarah’s problem would not be attracting a husband, but rather trying to decide between the possibilities. The blonde tresses didn’t help either. Rebecca’s thick auburn hair by comparison seemed if not a liability, at least dull. Sarah had delicate wrists and a tiny waist and pinched her lips into a heart when trying to remember something — as if the cuteness of her pucker could compensate for the flimsiness of her mind. Rebecca stood a head taller than Sarah and tended toward sturdiness and rarely made a joke.

Of course, Rebecca capitalized on being the serious, thoughtful daughter, the one on whom her father could rely. Some comfort. Her mother kept a running inventory of fault and seemed to count “not being Sarah” as a fault. “Maybe you should ride that roan a little less often,” she’d admonish, as if avoiding horses would make her more willowy and compliant. It didn’t seem to register that Sarah also happened to be an accomplished equestrian. What girl of means in Beech Bayou was not? Her mother’s superficiality made her blind to Rebecca’s strengths, blind to matters beyond appearances and wealth and land. Eldest sons in the area, she kept apprised of. What interested Rebecca did not register at all.

And so, when Lucy was hired as a tutor in the fall of 18xx, it was with more than a little relief that Rebecca found herself a star. The makeshift classroom housed Sarah and her and a half dozen of their neighbors’ daughters. Even before the tutor took up residence in the little cabin past the alfalfa fields, Rebecca had found refuge in literature and history. The great British poets, biographies penned by Plutarch. But with Lucy’s attentive tutelage, she found her horizons widened, her intellect sharpened, and more importantly, she found herself recognized. She was a person of worth!

Lucy was too professional to let any preferences show, just as Rebecca well-hid her weary contempt for her younger sister. But they both found small and subtle ways to convey a warm mutual regard. Rebecca knew she was the favorite.

 

In the Early Dark

In the early dark, Lucy reached for him and found only the cool of the sheets and then remembered. A sick feeling. How Mrs. Rankin barged in late last night and caught them in passionate embrace! Apparently, a slave had seen James crossing the lawn towards the cottage sometime after midnight and awakened his mistress. They did not knock. The two of them stood in the doorway, illuminated by lantern light looking like ghouls from the Underworld. Mrs. Rankin shrieked – my Lord! You’d think she’d been struck or stung by venom.

Alone hours later, Lucy ran a finger across her collar bones remembering the ugly intrusion. How she’d sat up in horrified dismay holding the covers up to her neck as if there had been any dignity left to protect.

Much as Lucy would prefer never to see her employer again, she had no choice. But now Mrs. Rankin’s entitlement rankled more than ever. Acting as if Lucy living in her schoolhouse cottage and tutoring her daughters gave her broad and sweeping access to Lucy’s private life was almost too much to bear. And the judgment! Back in her day, did she not clutch at Master Rankin in the dark? Find herself surprised by pleasure? Perhaps not, come to think on it.

Tying the strings of her petticoat, buttoning her frock, brushing her hair, Lucy tried to restore herself — returning what was private to their hidden places beneath cloth. And James? In his rush to leave, he’d said only that he would head south, “into the bayou.” He’d dwell, Lucy presumed, somewhere else until such time as the stink and shame of Mrs. Rankin’s intrusion passed. Would it pass? Apart from the distasteful encounter, there was this: Lucy had once again lost her husband to the wilds. It hardly mattered that this time he ran away from something rather than towards something. He was, once again, absent. Lucy had no doubt his beloved birds would come to his rescue — distractions and passions not afforded her.

After a quick succession of taps, Nelly entered.

“Laundry day, Missus.” She nodded toward the bed. The slave’s quick look down told Lucy that she knew. Either Mrs. Rankin had told her or more likely, the man with the lantern had passed along the gossip. Then again, maybe she’d been roused by the shrieks and seen James slinking off, his crown of thick curls catching the moonlight. If so, she must have wondered at his haste, how he trotted along on his horse with only one arm in his jacket, head turning back in a gesture of fear and regret.

Regarding the linens? She could have at it! Let them be boiled in lye, rinsed, and freshened by sunlight! A literal washing away of the shameful taint.

Life went on.

That morning after lessons – today the Anglo Saxon and Norman invasions of Great Britain — the girls and Lucy headed to their favorite picnic spot. East of the classroom cottage and up on a slight knoll, grew one of the oldest live oaks on the plantation. A landmark. Lucy snapped open a damask cloth under its broad branches and behind the veils of Spanish moss. On occasion, they liked to sit there, have a few savories, and take in the view, enjoying whatever coolness the shade had to offer. The bugs pestered them but they made do, waving fans and hankies, laughter in between. The older girls were restless that day and for a change, Lucy knew why. The upcoming year-end celebration. Festivities being planned. But more, the engagement parties that would follow in quick succession.

Rebecca stood tall and sturdy and looked at the world like a puzzle to be solved. Calm. Deliberate. Perhaps her point of view was unusual for a plantation owner’s daughter, most of whom seemed to consider life a banquet being served them, the sole weight of decision being what to consume first. Quick at sums as well as Latin, there was no doubt that Rebecca would run a household with graceful efficiency, unlike the stiff and artless matron, her mother. That woman’s cold dictatorial brittleness endeared her to none.

Above photo attribution

Jan 26 reading

Well, it kind of was a blast. The space was packed and I got to see many faces I’d not seen in years. A very gratifying turnout.

Guna praising the heck out of me which is why my arms are crossed!

Who did I see? One of the boys’ elementary school teachers. A writing friend who dropped out of the Thursday class long ago. Friends from Arlington and Watertown. Neighbors from down the street, around the corner, and a friend from Maine. Parents from the boys’ elementary school days. My sister-in-law, with her friend. My therapist was there!

There was one young person there. Very mysterious. She stayed for the whole thing and at the book signing refused to supply her name. Who was she? And why the secrecy?

I’d say there were about 40 people there, 30 of whom I knew.

I brought a handwoven indigo cloth with me. Bought in Colorado years ago but probably from the west coast of Africa. Benin? Nigeria? It sat on my lap during the signing and the book group portion.

There were really good questions, lots of positive feedback (hard for me to take it all in, honestly), and very good snacks during the book group portion of the afternoon.

A few remarks? They learned a lot (x7). The writing was beautiful (x8). They liked how well-developed the characters were. There was an interesting layering to the story-telling.

Welp. While I was writing that paragraph, our water heater failed. I smell gas, Ken! Why do I smell gas, Ken?

And meanwhile, the upstairs furnace didn’t come on at all last night again. Discovery: sleeping in a 60 degree room is tolerable. It’s getting up in a room that cold that’s hard.

So what’s next? A roof collapse? Fridge failure?

Off goes husband to buy a new furnace. He’s installed the last three.

It’s out of the teens and — poop?

It’s out of the teens but still pretty cold. The upstairs furnace is dying and never kicked on last night. I can hear it trying. Ken usually rises before I do and today is no exception. Before he heads down to make coffee, he slides the curtains open making the metal ring-clips go clickety clack.

“Fire up my blanket,” I say from under the comforter.

That would be my electric blanket. The greatest new possession since the Dyson battery-operated stick vacuum arrived.

Today’s the reading at Newtonville Bookstore. I’m pretty excited. Thank you all again for your words of encouragement.

And there’s this. Boulder Bookstore. Notice anything? D. took these pix yesterday.

PS is there something wrong with me that I fully expected to see the constipated cow on All Creatures Great and Small take a massive and relieving dump and was disappointed to be denied? Yes. The answer is yes. But you know what? I was properly pleased to hear Maddow announce recently that she has an eight-year-old’s sense of humor and will forever find poop references funny. “And farts!” I might’ve said aloud to the TV.

PPS The other time I recently responded out loud to the TV was when that river cruise ad came on. “Shut her up!” You know the one that plays before PBS programming? I swear the announcer has a fake British accent. It’s a win if we get it muted before she says, “iconic landscapes.” Ugh.

PPPS. Best screen moment yesterday was reading this letter. Maybe it’s only a delay, BUT IT MATTERS.

Gifts of cloth and attention

This beautiful shirt (you may have seen on FB or Instagram) was made by my friend Lisa up in Maine. She’s really talented. She knew I wanted to wear indigo to the book reading this weekend and just whipped this shirt up using katazome indigo from a workshop we attended together this past summer (blogged about here).

And that’s not all. She was a beta reader who read the entire manuscript. And that’s not all. She’s driving down from Maine to hear me read at NEWTONVILLE BOOKS this Sunday (Jan 26 at 2:00).

My mother was her art teacher in high school and her father taught me history. We go way back. Our brothers are very close friends.

Some scribbles got typed up yesterday and emailed to Deb. Deb is what’s known as a Critical Reading Partner. Much more involved than a beta reader.

Beta readers read when you are well along. Their responses can range from chapter edits to a general “I liked it.”

In the two years leading up to Deb’s publications (PROPHETS TANGO) and mine, we exchanged chapters with regularity. To do it again with new material feels like getting back in the saddle!

Early today. When it was 5 degrees.

We made only the Oakmont/Maplewood figure eight with Finn today. It wasn’t booger-freezing cold, but almost.

It was the kind of cold you really bundle up for, but it felt normal. Normal winter weather. Something people in Florida and Georgia can’t say right now.

Go dark or ?

I guess I’m in Solnit’s camp when it comes to closing out of Zuck-accounts. She thinks letting them silence us and destroy our online networks give them a win. I personally think someone worth 200+ plus billion is not gonna miss my accounts.

Is AI gross? Yes. Does late stage capitalism have a way of degrading everything online? Yes. Are these platform vehicles for democracy-destroying lies? Yes. End-times climate denialism? Yes.

Still.

All self-published authors have to make peace with Amazon. Period. It’s that or go dark.

But I’ve made sure I’m in libraries and available in independent bookstores and on bookshop.org and a half a dozen other outlets like google play and Apple — so that people rightfully shunning the bald coward Bezos can still get my book.

Going forward, I’m ordering books for myself from bookshop.org even though it’s a pain in the ass and I now run out for my own groceries (something I pretty much stopped during during COVID).

Did you see Jeff’s gross girlfriend, BTW, with the fat MAGA lips and exposed underwear and the gross Zuckerberg staring down her bra? Gawd these people! (And no, I didn’t watch the inauguration, it just came up elsewhere).

I exited Twitter months ago and haven’t missed it. I wouldn’t miss threads either. At all. Even though Bluesky lacks … something. Engagement I guess. In that way Bluesky feels like Twitter (for me anyway) where either I was shadow banned or just not interesting enough to warrant responses. I’m saying: threads feels friendlier. I hope Bluesky improves.

Here’s another thing. Ken and I just spent the better part of last week figuring out Facebook ads for my book which is supposedly how to keep sales going. AND I have this reading this week to remind people about and everyone is going dark. Damn! I hope I’ve posted about it enough (probably).

This, by the way, doesn’t mean I don’t have enormous respect for people wiping their boards clean of these fat cats. I do.

Saw this on Bluesky today. Not bad, eh?

Lastly, with one exception the people least outwardly supportive of my book have been, wait for it … my IRL writing friends. It’s baffling. Beyond disappointing. Last night I realized that publishing a book is like losing a parent. You just don’t know who will step forward and who will sideline themselves. It’s not always what you expect.

Neighbors, family, Tuesday-call friends, Wednesday-call friends, and YOU GUYS have been stalwart and amazing and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that fact. Thank you.