I offer this telling in the same spirit that I sometimes collect images of Kimberly Guilfoyle — like, is this shit for real? please feel free to skip. But if you skip, be sure to see book updates below.

Sat down to begin the Plan B Medicare sign up and noticed that the required PDF proving I currently had employee-provided health care was not signed. Ken’s was. Mine wasn’t. Okay. Sent it off to HR in Houston. 

This pisses me off a little. Reminds me a lot of our financial counselor whom I have to inform at EVERY FUCKING visit that I’ve been collecting SS since age 62. Why is this so hard to remember? It’s literally his job and he has computer programs to track the data. 

It gets difficult to not take this personally. The wife. The non-earning wife. 

Fortunately HR in Houston responds quickly with new PDF. 

Meanwhile, I have a Social Security account and a Medicare account but now you need to use login.gov. 

In trying to set up a login.gov account, they offered first the typical six-digit verification code, but then a longer one that for some insane reason they would only mail to me. It would take a month they said. Well great, because I have two more weeks of employee-provided health care. 

I called the number on the website and spent an hour and twenty minutes on hold (because the three times I tried to leave a call back number, I was interrupted before finishing the area code. They couldn’t hear me?) (It’s okay, the wait — I worked on my jigsaw puzzle). Of course the result was a distant voice saying they couldn’t help. “Go in person,” she said. 

Mailed verification number? Go in person? Seriously? 

So we went to the Social Security office first thing the next day and in a very orderly process got an authentication number in person. 

Back to signing up for Plan B.

When we finally figured out how where to apply ( hint: it’s not on the Medicare site, it’s on the SS site), they wouldn’t accept the PDF of my now signed employment verification form. 

But wait — first we had to track down the email with the HR PDF attachment. Having not used email on the desktop in months, I had to use two step verification to sign in to Google. By some fucking miracle I could readily find my most recent password. But they didn’t send the code. And they didn’t send it some more. Not in my stated email. Not by text to my phone.

Was I losing my mind? Was this part of a plot to make seniors stroke out and ease the burden on our health care system?

Finally! Finally! Saw that they send a notification (not an email) to the google mail app on my phone. Huh?

Now ready, we filled everything out on the required form but it would not upload the required PDF. We tried and tried. Watched the spinning circle. Walked away from the spinning circle. Tried again. 

WTAF? Mercury retrograde anyone?

Finally, started over and it was a go. Probably the form had timed out. Maybe should have considered that sooner.

This was a day and a half process that I thought would take 15 minutes. I’m not stupid, I tell myself. Really I’m not.

Still have to sign up for supplemental and drug plan. Wish me luck. 

Meanwhile, this is happening.

Amazon’s mysterious algorithms have me as #1 in New Releases for biographical historic fiction. The book hasn’t even launched yet and pre-sales are barely double digits so I truly don’t get it.

Still it was a thrill, so official looking and all.

You can preorder the EBOOK version of my novel on Amazon, Kobo, and Apple Books. You’ll be able to order the paperback on 9/5.

The Weight of Cloth tab up in the menu is getting lots of my attention. Grooming with related links etc. Check it out. You can tap the link here or go up to menu and tap the link there.