The act of tiny fingers

Here’s a 6.5 minute crude lament from today’s writing class. The prompt was to begin a piece with the line, ‘he steps a foot away and spits’. I stumble a few times and need to figure out how to turn pages more quietly, but hope the mistakes aren’t too distracting.  Please let me know if viewing is problematic. Maybe YouTube’d be better?

Here it is in print (I fix a mistake in the 1st paragraph):


The Act of Tiny Fingers

He steps a foot away and spits. His phlegm lands in a glistening lump. He is a master
of distraction and will impose no bounds on his tricks… certainly not propriety or hygiene.

He will steal your dog, rifle through your purse just for fun, and decapitate your peonies some moonlit night in June.

You wake heartbroken at the pink debris, no idea he’d been by.

He picks his teeth and scratches his balls — especially in front of young women — as if those young women didn’t already feel the menace of his maleness.

He’s a ticket to hell. He’s hell itself.

But, don’t take it personally. He will do whatever crosses his path.

Of course he has a predilection for things with slits between their legs — see how even in calling out his sins how his sick cosmology taints our capacity to name ourselves!

But yeah, he’d prefer to fuck with girls or women but boys don’t get a free pass because of course by now you know that our gross master’s magic depends on opportunism.

He’s a sneak, but only for fun because he has the power to impose blatant violations openly. Day in and day out, he commits his atrocities. A fallen building here, starvation mid-Africa, soul-stealing all along the streets of Detroit.

I hope I don’t need to tell you who funds our clever sinner, now do I?

Big pharm, gun makers, gas and oil dealers and all their unmanned, creepy minions. Is it easier to sit atop your high horse, Mitch McConnell’s of the world, when your balls have been handed to you so long ago you can’t remember where you hid them? Did you hide them? A trophy of shame and compromise.

Oh the calls how they come! The justice mavericks need money more than ever and I’m just trying to eat my lunch, watching bad crime show re-runs. The insistent demanding fundraiser wasn’t having my refusal — kept on sputtering her message — Emily’s List! Georgia! 2018!  I stopped being annoyed and became something like amused. But the wallet remained clamped shut until she misspoke (did she mispeak?) and called the Koch brothers, ‘the Cock Brothers’.

At that point, I might’ve handed over my first born. “Just for that,” I laughed, “here’s my Visa number, expiration June 2018.”

It is no glum, exaggerated prognostication to think we might not be here come June 2018.

He grossly clears another load of phlegm and lobs it through time and space so that it almost hits my shoe. Such precision! Such calculation! Of course he’d slobber on my foot if he so chose. I know it and he knows I know it. It’s all a game to him — tally and torment. Grabbing and removing lawmakers’ manhood one minute and violating an anchorwoman the next.

But! But! The predator’s ratings rise — like his purple veined member! Apparently, the dollars of hard working folk and the dollars of companies willing to take a stand don’t matter as much as we’d like to think.

Did he use a microphone? Was it greased with spit?

And you want to call ME gross? Does the reporting of violation constitute violation?

In the morning we rise, no longer unclear about what the matter is. Remember those frosty mornings in November — in that early time of disbelief when you’d wake and scramble through memory wondering, “Now what is it that’s so god-damned awful?”

Oh. Yeah.

The prankster works at all ends of a crisis — first (but not first) mortgage scams denying people of color entry to the middle class, then a so-called war on drugs (the Devil loves euphemism in case you don’t know), then the double, triple standards of education, employment —

Oh Christ! The line of sin is so long just recounting it takes more juice than I possess, but for now think: LEAD. Lead in the water. Not an iffy contaminant, but a known poison with known, documented harmful results upon ingestion, especially to growing brains.

Oh how we worried about paint chips in our 200 year old house! Waited for the blood work. Sighed with relief. Such privilege!

Syrian babies make buffoons cry on television. Or was it the man-baby’s wife-daughter who cried and inspired his missile attack? Talk about compensation! Maybe half our problems would go away if the giant fool could simply (simply?) fuck his daughter.

I am prepared to wipe my shoe if need be.

But am I brave enough to launch a kick — particularly when I am too short to reach any tender pieces above the knee?

The Devil operates in abstractions, too, but revels in the bawdy, the crude, the parts that smell and tug and shove and release. It’s not me reveling.

I can’t even make a gob of spit like that. Is phlegm production related to lying in any way? If so, there must be rows of spittoons in the House and Senate and along the corridors of our formerly esteemed White House.

The overwhelm of destructive might be working — shock and awe, they said, shock and awe. Or was it fire storm? I mix the metaphors — proof in point. When we turn on the news and the most recent, singular, and shocking revelation makes you reach for the clicker, that’s the Devil’s work, too. He wears us out.

Pandora has a place here, too. Let’s ask — how? How? How on earth do we stuff this bile and vitriol and regressive policy back into the box?

Don’t we already pay with pained childbirth and cancer? Must we also suffer as witnesses to the act of tiny fingers turning a clock back decades? Undoing, undoing, undoing.

Oh please, spare us — just go fuck your daughter.


14 thoughts on “The act of tiny fingers

    1. deemallon

      Thanks Mo. and that’s just this week. And that’s just this week. That’s actually just up until Wednesday. Before today’s atrocities or last night’s evidence of collusion. Gawd.

      1. Mo Crow

        Trickster energy … I only just made the connection with the shadow side of the archetype – the man with the orange skin and yellow hair wielding power with such wild lies and exaggerations, alternative truths & fake news abound, this realization helps me see the chaos that has been unleashed as an agent for change… shining a light on the dark side of the collective subconscious brings clarity

        1. deemallon

          DJT is too dumb and plodding to be the Pan/Satan/trickster archetype, IMHO. A useful minion (puppet). A maker of chaos that serves the devil. I’ve actually thought about this a fair amount. In this WH Kushner might get the title. Esp given how his fifth avenue buildings address: 666. Not sure tho. He also seems less sharp and Machiavellian than ideal. So who? Putin? Bannon? Your thoughts please.

        2. Mo Crow

          don’t dismiss Trump as stupid or childish, he is a cunning conman gleefully using the shadow side of the archetypal energy of the Trickster Coyote, the good thing is the coyote always shoots himself in the foot, the bad thing is he always comes back in another form, Trump is a replaceable puppet for the corporate coup that is revealing it’s face, Murdoch is their mouthpiece, we need to shine a light on this aspect & face up to the fact we no longer have governments for the people, they are being manipulated by the people who want to get the last of the fossil fuels out of the ground at the expense of our planet and all her sentient and non sentient beings. Rivers & forests are gaining voting rights in forward thinking places all around the world, soon ecocide will be a crime and these people who want to destroy the planet will be made redundant, there is much work to do on many levels

        3. deemallon

          I know you are in good company with this view. I just don’t buy it. He talks like an incredible moron, he looks like a moron. He thinks like an impaired dick with ADD, and his results in life show someone who cheats and bullies to win (as opposed to using cunning).

  1. Liz A

    This isn’t what I choose to read … usually. I would think, “Nope, don’t want to go there” and put it down. But not this time. This called to be read, and I’m glad I did … even as I lamented the the truth of it, and the need to tell that truth.

  2. saskia

    Dee, your voice, in my ears and your words on the screen, wow

    you know to begin with I didn’t realize you were talking about DJT and for a moment understood why and how folks can become enamoured with these types, whereas before I could not see any charisma in him at all; I mean I still don’t get him, but I do now understand why so many others did…..thank you for this


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