Ghost of Tara and travel plans

After ten years of a blogging on a basically free WordPress platform, I used up the allotted memory. A funny time for that to happen, if you ask me. A little like how I waited weeks to shut off my sister’s phone and cable and when I finally did so, she was dead within 15 hours.

As for WordPress — I just signed up for two years on the business plan. I’d rather not pay for what’s been free, of course, but I’m so relieved that the fix was straightforward, I don’t really care. Who knows what other bibs and babs will show up here now?

(Please note: in the process I dropped “WordPress” from my domain name, so your computer might be suspicious. Also, if you link to this blog on your blog, you’ll need to update. Now it’s:

Here are a few more pictures of the box holding my sister’s ashes. The play of light is something she would have appreciated.

Today, grief brought me to this realization: I am an incredibly resilient person. At the moment pretty battered and worn out, but not at all worried about myself. That’s what resilience will do for a person.

Two obvious contributing factors to my brand of resilience: loving food (seriously! and I don’t mean loving food in a serious way, but seriously, this is a factor) and, this is key — seeing beauty and stories everywhere.

I started my day watching an interview with Gloria Steinem (you can find the link in Michelle’s comment yesterday – thank you, Michelle!) Talking about the importance of narratives, Steinem said something like, ‘we are wired to tell and listen to stories.’

Yes. And to appreciate beauty. Wherever we find it.

Another mosaic from my sister’s clip files.

And sidewalk shadow and rust seen while walking to my car this afternoon– also beautiful.

There’s a lot left to do in my sister’s apartment, but the end glimmers and good thing because an incredible travel opportunity dropped into my lap.

Such a gift! Such timing!

My cousin Ginny (also Mallon) offered me a small scholarship through The Fat Canary literary and art journal to attend a residency program in Assisi, Italy for the latter half of April!

Can you believe that?

What contributes to your resilience?

26 thoughts on “Ghost of Tara and travel plans

  1. RainSluice

    Holy shit!! Italy! Assisi!! SO GREAT!!!! what’s the residency? (who cares?! but I’m just curious)…. just fabulous. talk about timing. yahoooooo! art art art art art sun sun sun sun sun maybe even OTHER stuff OMG FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD 🙂

  2. Tina

    That glass star is Amazing .. a spirit filled beauty. Italy in April ., OMGoodness that is wonderful.

  3. Nanette

    My internet security told me today as I clicked on the link to your post in my in-box, that it was a ‘suspicious link…..did I still want to travel to dee mallon?’…….interesting choice of words for a bot! And hell yes, glad I did, such goodness/good news in your post today..

    1. deemallon

      Hi Nanette. I should have mentioned and will go back and do so, that in the process of signing on to WordPress’s business plan I took on a new domain — In other words, I dropped the word “Wordpress” from my domain name. Anyone who links to me on their site will have to update.

  4. Katrin

    What an amazing trip!! Hope you have a fantastic time! I read a quote years ago that really resonated with me and I think of often, “an incurable thing about humans is we are resilient”.

  5. karmadondruplhamo

    i am slow. I am still back on that post of Mercy and Reflection…what incredibly GREAT
    Telling there, caused so much IN me, just so Great, Dee.
    and then skip forward to here, today….how you are free of the tether

    1. deemallon

      Thanks Grace. I think I have you to thank for knowing of Gauthier’s version of that song.

  6. Nancy

    Dee I was just hooked, mouth open from the start of this post then, the ending…BAM! Italy! The light, the vision of you and your sister collaborating, the lows and highs of weeks past, the LIFE of it all. Such a gift 🙂
    Resilience is something I’ve considered for a long time, especially through the eyes of an ECE person and someone who has had her own healing to do…and still I’ve got nothing, except to say someone (maybe Marti?) once told me that I did show resilience, which surprised me.
    PS I’m still trying to figure out these Google plus and Blogger things! And by figure out, I mean ignore until the last possible moment! ha

    1. deemallon

      ECE? Early childhood something? I have never thought of myself as fragile (is that the opposite of resilient?) but there have been times when I felt completely broken. Don’t we all have healing to do?

      1. Nancy

        Early Childhood Education. I have been broken or about break or almost broken many, many times in my lifespan. We do. And I feel like we have a right to do…or NOT do that healing as we choose.

  7. Jenny M

    beautiful reflections in your sister’s resting place. How utterly amazing that you will have time in Italy….Assisi, is where I had my 50th, such a special holiday.
    Resilience: such a hard question…..maybe in my DNA, my Grandmother was an amazing woman devoting the latter part of her life caring for her 2 mentally handicapped grandsons, her attitude was “just do what has to be done” also my dear MIL instilled joy into many of her days, by noticing the little things and being astounded by the beauty of the mundane, so her attitude lifted the mood of those in her company.

  8. Michelle Slater

    Hope I keep getting you. I just clicked the link and the new site popped up. I didn’t add it to blog roles but maybe should. What great news about ASSISI! Deserved. Beauty and resilience are definitely your ground to stand upon. I know I’ve told you before more than once. I’ll be in Massachusetts April 16th for a week while you will glory in the Italian adventure. May you wallow in joy.

  9. Ginny

    I am so glad you are going. You will love it there. I’ve been meaning to go in the spring but Nov seems to be the only time I can escape. Send me photos of the ginestrelle in bloom (similar to the Scottish Broom, abundant in the area).
    And olive oil and fresh cheese is to die for! The foodie in you will be thrilled.

    There is something to be said for traveling to a new city and then having the chance to stay in one spot for a couple of weeks. So much more of the real life opens up to us if we’re not rushing off to the next destination.

    So glad I could help make this happen. Xo

  10. Hazel

    More beautiful images.
    Keeping eyes, mind & spirit focused on any flicker of light in the future keeps me going through rough waters. Italy would be a solar flare! So happy for you, looking forward to hearing more about it.

    1. deemallon

      Emptying a two room apartment sure isn’t clearing out a house. But it’s still a lot of work. Hard physical work and hard emotional work.

  11. Laurie

    Everyone, including myself, considered me quite fragile until my father’s illness and death. Sometimes grief can show you who you are. The box with the crystal star is so lovely. So happy for you about Assisi. What a dream come true. April should be beautiful!

  12. ravenandsparrow

    Wow, what an unexpected windfall! Italy! Just what you need after all the work you have done for your sister. I can hardly wait to hear the stories.


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