Comfort of cloth and blogs

The fires have pushed me over some internal edge I didn’t know was there. A tough couple of days. This, even as the fires burn 1,000’s of miles away.

It’s cool here. Heating pads, sweaters, slippers, and blankets find their way to the body. I love this time of year.

Inspired by Kamala, I bought some Converse All Stars. My last pair were hot pink. I wore them to a “Firm Picnic” back in the nineties, one of many signs that I didn’t want to belong.

Wednesday: signed up for postcards to Kentucky. Thursday: calls to North Carolina (out of 42 calls — 5 connections and one amazing conversation. Worth it? Hmmm).

But by Friday I felt a whole new level of overwhelm. So distraught I actually couldn’t look at any news.

My brother and his partner, my older son, my niece, K’s brother and his partner and son, all live on the West Coast.

LA, Oakland, and Corvallis.

Grace, Nancy, and Hazel.

Barbara & her entire family, Sherri, Aymee, Dan, Ekin

I found myself wishing it was a week where we only suffered through news about corruption. Election stealing. Punitive prosecutions. The Russians. CDC fact-tampering. Boy oh boy — sickening!

I take refuge in an idiotic and entertaining detective series called, Psyche. Kind of love it, actually. Perfect length. Just enough character development. I laugh out loud several times every episode. Eight seasons are free on Prime.

Editing continues apace and so does the finishing of C’s blanket. The sashing doesn’t line up. My quilting is erratic. Where one might expect rectangles, there are wedges.

But it will be warm. It will hopefully outlast me and give comfort for many years.

“Massachusetts has the highest unemployment rates in the country,” K reading the paper.

Thank you faithful bloggers of the world. Those connections matter. Your posts are another place of refuge. I read daily even if I don’t comment. Thank you!

20 thoughts on “Comfort of cloth and blogs

  1. RainSluice

    Yup. Friends and family on the west coast. For us, M and her spouse in Portland where the flames lap at the edge of that city. A dear friend in Santa Cruz who had to evacuate and that’s about the last I heard except that they are ok now. But neighbors are not. D’s sister in SanFran and all her kids and grands, sticking it out. Well, what else can they do? M and K continue to work remotely on videos and teaching, have an income and very justified pride in their survival which is important. What is sustaining them? Where does their faith come from? Same place as mine did when I was their age? Like you wearing your “cons” to the firm’s picnic: *believe* there is a light at the end of this tunnel? M calls them “Chucks”. As I sew masks for an upcoming march that I can’t attend, I am using up fabric you sent me! I’ve purchased a lot of new fabrics I really like, too. However, I feel a lot of comfort from you pattern and color choices that have come my way and as make things for people I don’t know, I think,”well, this one I’m keeping for a close friend, for M, for K, for C, for D, for ME, and this one goes on the pile for kiddos”. Your C’s quilt is astoundingly beautiful. The log-cabin quilt my mom made for me (40 years ago) hangs behind my desk in my attic-office. When I’m on Zoom, people appreciate it. And my favorite salutation of the past week: “Fuck 2020” from a young and very sophisticated woman who’s dad passed away. A friend of ours. You, Dee, continue to set a great example of giving and taking comfort. and much more, of course. But, life is so fleeting. Dear Blake, yes, we are but a grain of sand.

    1. deemallon

      Wow. The list of people! I hope they don’t have to evacuate Portland. Man. I am impressed that you’re still making masks. Everything is still out here — in kitchen table, living room desk and bookcase — but I’m not making them. Decided this morning though now that I have electric to cut off the ties on some masks and replace with elastic. I have too much hair to want to be tying ties around my head.

      Fuck 2020. I hope 2021 brings sanity. I hope and expect that it will. Part of me wonders, though, if I ought to be preparing for it not to?

  2. Acey

    Here’s what’s wild. it speaks to my own rolling disorientation. Read this whole post thinking I was at jude’s blog. The whole way through I was mentally composing a sassy email reply based on a few key things in YOUR post that would have made zero sense to her. Or who knows. Maybe they would have.

    Went out last night with two young (22/240 local friends and hung a few more mmmm we’ll call it voter encouragement signage and let it go at that. Hard to remove. Weather Proof. BOOM done. five additional locations in half an hour. For you I’m gonna call it a Kavannaugh moment.

    I seem to be doing a lot of healing “nice” things for myself from a place of ripshit anger over the demise of the country/planet. Most of my family and friends in Cali

    1. deemallon

      Well that’s funny, the confusion. Maybe it is due, in part, to the fact that I was doing my level best not to condemn the workmanship on my quilt, calling to mind Jude’s philosophy that “there are no bad quilts.”

      Good for you on signage! So many of us are finding ways to do SOMETHING.

    2. Acey

      are known to be okay except my niece’s boyfriend. He stayed beyond to guard against looters and they came and there was ‘unpleasant aftermath’. All that was stated in hurried text from J’s sister. Still waiting to learn whateverthefuck that means…

  3. Liz A

    we do what we can … and I confess to leaving a comment on Acey’s blog that I am indulging in retail therapy as my go-to cure

    but this near-constant state of siege is surely taking a toll on all of us … I am dreading November … even if Biden wins, he-who-I-will-not-name will still have over two months to wreak his revenge

    1. deemallon

      I just recently read about your stomach bug. Are you better I hope?

      It would be foolish to assume that a win for Biden means the chaos is over. It’s not 50 days or whatever, but MONtHs of nail biting still. And that’s IF the Dems win in a landslide. Anything else to awful to contemplate.

  4. kathy dorfer

    I feel the same ) : watching the west coast burn up is so sad.
    lots of friends and family . Port Townsend to the desert .
    friends losing houses & businesses . I just want to put
    a sheet over my head .2020 just keeps on hitting us .

  5. Joanne

    Texted my son (Silicon Valley) last evening just to make sure he is still safe and alive. He is but says the sky is only thick smoke for days on end. He works at home. Since-well before March until August 2021. His office is officially closed till then. He hopes Grace and her goats are safe.
    Me too. I live in a state where everyone seems to own a gun, no mask and a hot temper but I am now thinking the Blues might be in the majority……there is HOPE as I see Biden signs. I see Blue.

    1. deemallon

      Hope son stays safe. LA has its worst smog in 30 years but so far seems safer than further north. Has ash in his car, though. Had been bike riding on weekends for sanity, though.

  6. Nancy

    Reading your post and all of these comments brings many emotions, tears, chuckles and nods of agreement…we are not alone, we are here, holding space with each other. I was so glad to see Grace and Hazel’s posts today. Big sighs of relief. I think the fires and the relentless horrible news story on top of story, with no break, is what put us over the edge. Even J is having days here and there, where it is just too much. Friend’s in-laws had moved to Bend…air quality was 524 the other day, so they’re back in San Jose for the time being, trying to breathe. I was up most of the night, coughing and it is less awful down here. However some of your photos today remind me that I should get back to the movie making, because I can do that motionless on the couch. Last night someone walked up to a sheriff’s car and point blank shot two deputies before running off. Last I heard they were both in surgery, in critical…
    Judge said they CAN block the ballots??? WTH? There is just so much, I can’t even keep my mind still OR I just want to hide and be numb. My next-door neighbor is moving out and I’ve got my fingers crossed that a smoker does not move in. There is no smoking inside, but it hangs on anyway and seeps through the walls and my breathing is so bad anyway. And a week or so ago, upstairs neighbors were cooking something, forgot and went to the pool and caught there damn place on fire!!! Water sprinklers went off, fire department was here, the works! I learned that the oversized door almost right outside my door is an automatic fire door (good to know), which kept Banging shut til they came to reset everything. BangBangBang…Sorry, I’m rambling.

    I love this quilt in all of its wrinkles and unevenness and cool blues and greens. I find it so very soothing and calm. I would wrap myself in it and never come out!
    I love also that you came here today to say what you needed too ( and obviously opened some door for me too! ha)…and share the beauty of your world and share the friendship and heart of yours. So good.
    xo Be well

    1. deemallon

      Fingers crossed in non-smoking neighbor! Good lord! An apartment fire?! Now? It seems as you say just too much.

  7. ravenandsparrow

    The intensity of the bullshit is truly jaw-dropping. I can’t believe civic discourse has come to this. We are not in danger from fires, but the smoke is dense all day and all night. It is just one thing after another. The calm colors of your quilt are a balm to my eyes and your frequent presence here a reassurance. Thank you!

    1. deemallon

      I can’t believe how dependent our tripartite government relied on the decency of those involved. The guard rails would not have failed if the GOO had an ounce of morality left.

      Hope you can breathe okay.


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