One of the most noticeable negative consequences of the pandemic is my large collection of stained tops. How blessed am I? It’s a pain though. This morning, I had to reject one shirt after another because of a slight but noticeable grease stain, usually just below the collar. There I was at 5:15 a.m., pulling one shirt after another over my head with a sigh.
Why the stains you ask? Because K’s workstation occupies our kitchen table and we put our dining room table out in the garage years ago and (she confesses) we like to watch TV while we eat.
Speaking of casual approaches to things, our anniversary approaches. Thirty-one years. Last year was nothing. I joked just now that it’d be an occasion simply to clear the table and sit at it. Pathetic, I know, but maybe I like that it just doesn’t seem to matter all that much.
I just don’t think I should have to cook that night, is all. That’s mushroom risotto, above, by the way. I don’t know why people think making this dish is a pain. Because you have to stir frequently?
Steve Bannon this. Steve Bannon that. In the cab. In the Peet’s line at Logan. K probably would like to hear less of this. But! The pleading filed by the 1/6 Select Committee yesterday is verrrrry compelling. I plan to find it online and read in full later. Heather Cox Richardson’s summary this morning is a good place to start if you’re interested.
Otherwise, I’m reading this biography. I’ll admit I was a little more interested in Audubon when I thought he was Black. Some have suggested that he was. His father had two illegitimate children, one mother was enslaved, the other a French chambermaid. Rhodes says James’s mother was the French maid. Birthplace: a sugar plantation on Saint Domingue (later Haiti).
Some of the mystery surrounding Audubon’s birth stemmed from inheritance laws. Illegitimate children were entitled to nothing, so of course some dissembling was in order.
What’s so far fascinating are the descriptions of the American landscape just after the turn of the nineteenth century. Lush and full of wildlife. Travel by paddle boats. Camping with the Shawnee while waiting for the ice on the Mississippi to break up. Riding by horseback from Louisville to Pennsylvania with his wife, Lucy, and their one year old. Can you imagine?
Rhodes quotes Audubon’s description of the Kentucky barrens: “‘Flowers without number … sprung up amidst the luxuriant grass; the fields, the orchards, and the gardens of the settlers, presented an appearance of plenty, scarcely anywhere exceeded; the wild fruit-trees, having their branches interlaced with grapevines, promised a rich harvest; and at every step I trod on ripe and fragrant strawberries.’”
And of course, the young artist (he’s 27 at this point), is drawing birds constantly.
Well, today when I say onward and upward I mean it literally. Have a great Tuesday!
Safe travels!! I love that you admitted eating in front of the tv .. we do the same here. I’ve learned the hard way that if I care about what I’m wearing I change. Also anniversaries .. we will be married 50 years soon!!! Crazy to even think that it is possible but here we are approaching the day with gratitude and looking forward to going out to eat .. just being together is enough for us.
Fifty years! Wow! And Marti 51! We will probably go out to eat too and because there’s been so little of that since Covid, it’ll be a treat. Gratitude! Gratitude, perhaps the only reliable path to happiness?
Re: shirts. You’re smarter than I. These days I put a big flour sack dish towel on my front to eat but I have a pile of ruined shirts to put on when I’m using bleach.
Haha Another good use for our cloth napkins! 50 years…wow! we don’t celebrate any anniversary, even if it falls somewhere around the end of June (no known date). Just to be together is enough.
another good book to add to my reading list … thanks for that …
wishing you safe travel and a good visit …
Thanks, Liz! It’s a good book. Of course I’m primed to be interested.
I should note that the quote above is describing settled parcels. The wild landscape sounds unimaginably beautiful.
That sounds like a great book. Also, I share your pain with the stained tops. What to do with them? I’ve hoarded so many already…
I cut some up for cleaning rags and dusting. Because I tend to buy 100% cotton, they’re absorbent.
Well, I loved this column. You must be talking about my tops!
Glad I’m not the only one!
Echoing safe travels, may your flight go smoothly Dee. Please give a hug to your brother; he is sure to be getting his Halloween treat when you make him lasagna and a pumpkin pie. Homemade food is the most magical of healing gifts, in my opinion.
Cheers and best wishes to you and K on 31 yrs together. We have been married for 51 yrs, (anniversary in January.) For the first 20 yrs, I expected to be taken out for dinner as if it was proof or our marriage…Over the years, we fluctuated from going out to dinner to my cooking our anniversary dinner. Sometimes, the day slipped away until the very last minute and hamburgers were quickly put together.
What I have come to know after all of these years, is that the overt displays, going out to dinner, simply don’t matter as much as they used to. What matters are those quiet moments of discovery,;even after 51 years, R still fascinates me. We are still learning things about ourselves; R has gotten more comfortable with sharing and showing his emotions and I have gotten more comfortable with the opposite, less drama! We balance each other. We laugh more, enjoy cooking together, cooking our anniversary dinner, for the past two years together, partly due to Covid but realizing how much we enjoy sharing this experience. At times we find ourselves simply looking up at each other and think, who would have thought- 51 yrs and going strong.
Well I opted out of the pie idea. I’d have to buy crisco (I use a recipe that is two to one butter to lard) and also flour because this isn’t a baking house. Fortunately, Sprouts Market down the road had a beautiful array of pies on offer! But lasagne is on! Maybe for the night my older son joins us.
Billy’s partner told us en route from the airport that when asked what he was looking forward to most about the visit, my brother said “Dee’s cooking.” So maybe you’re right about healing gifts.
You nailed why it feels okay to not need fanfare for an anniversary. That the phase of needing proofs is past? I love your description of your relationship — each coming round to the other. Good for you! Because decades of marriage is not necessarily something to brag about, of course.
Love this last paragraph Marti. Yes, covid gave us the gift of time together, where so much of what you mention took place. After 21 years (not bad for the second time around!)…there’s still more to learn and appreciate 🙂
I think we were both airborne at the same time! My plane swooped over Manhattan heading south. Central Park from Stella’s balcony…
Oh that’s too funny! K thinks our route probably was a little north? Albany,
then Niagara Falls. I look forward to hearing how your visit went. And any and all writing!
Lovely blog post, Dee. Have a safe trip x
Thank you Rose!
We don’t even have a table since the move! Haha So, couch it is 🙂
Have a safe trip Dee.
No table? Well I don’t miss eating at one.
Nah, this place is so small and the living room has room for well, living (read as TV, couch, end table) and his music-recording studio (read as computer, equipment, keyboard, guitars, amps, speakers…). All of this fine by me, I usually ate on the couch anyway – with TV & lap top! He really misses it, but he has more stained shirts 😉
I agree about risotto. Not fussy at all to me but I might not stir it as much as it’s supposed to be stirred. Also I am a member of the oil stain group too. Luckily I change clothes as soon as I get home from work so it’s rarely on the “work” clothes. If it happens at work I usually squirt dish soap on it and rinse the spot right away. Everyone usually assumes one of the children used me as the available “hankie” and I don’t correct them. 🙂
Funny! Used you as a hankie!!