Noon eclipse day. Stock on. Bird bought after blood draw. How steady I am cutting the onion, the potatoes! I find the joint between thigh and breast easily as my heart is light, my knife sharp.
I walk the dog and I am not alone. Newton is a construction site and still I am grateful. My shirt is white, my heart intact, my teeth stay in my head. I am walking the dog in beauty, finding the joint in beauty. Picking up the catalpa pods that fell last fall, I am feeling useful if a bit stiff. The ends of the green beans get swept into the stock pot, but one rogue bean entire tries to hide in my apron pocket. My apron is triangular, drapey and in it I look like a small circus tent with feet.
And yet I am grateful. How one sunny warm day will change everything. Two nights ago, furnace on the blink (I told you so, dear husband), two heating pads fired up on full, I curl under blankets and wonder will I ever be warm again and then this day. This day, when the moon will pass between us and the sun — spooky, amazing, and rare. We won’t get totality, because I like my miracles to be convenient, but soon we will be in the presence of a kind of magic anyway, a magic that informs us that we are not the boss.
What a relief to not be the boss!
Do you have a high powered charging cable? Some days that’s all that matters. Today walking the dog three steps behind my husband (because: my hip. because: he doesn’t take instruction well), I feel how thoroughly I am like my mother! Today she inhabits me in my gray button down shirt, white sneakers, short hair — Mom in her relaxed Florida phase.
Will I get a relaxed phase? One where I stop giving a shit what other people think? One where it is permissible to exhale exhale exhale knowing the Nazis are crawling back under their rocks? A phase when some important things have been finished and I’m ready to do other things —things possibly important and possibly not?
The dog sinks to the floor in an exhale. There’s a lesson in that. One about surrender.
Gravity waves are a thing — did you know? And did you know that they are hard to study because no one can predict when they will appear with one notable exception. They are always present during eclipses.
So at 2:15 or so I’ll sit on the front lawn and don my glasses, and open up everything of who I am but effortlessly, like the dog sinking to the floor with a sigh. Is that even possible? The world will go slightly dark and we will be changed momentarily by gravity waves.
Meanwhile the chicken stock boils and there will be risotto with three kinds of mushrooms tomorrow, which is another testament to my mother who never prepared risotto but was an excellent cook.
This body. This day. A braid of: my mother, my own gladness, the relief at not being the boss, the smell of chicken stock on the stove. A short yelp of hallelujah is in order.
Beautiful. I’m hanging with beau’s family in South Hero VT. Path of totality.
Enjoy!! I heard someone describe difference between partial and full as being comparable to a child playing the triangle and a full orchestral performance.
What we got to see here in Milwaukee was amazing .. it wasn’t the totality but it was a beautiful warm cloudless day. I walked barefoot on the grass so the earths energy could move through me. Spent almost two hours looking .. not wanting to miss any of what filled me with joy and wonderment. At one point the very large tree across the alley must have had 100 black birds .. so happy I got to experience this day.
Nice! Wow those birds…
This is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart and your writing!
And thank you for reading and taking time to comment!
Dee~ I’ve read this like 4 times…it is so beautifully written and full of So Much. Thank you for it, because it feels like a gift of sorts, even if my brain can’t come up with a better response than this. Know that I was here and was touched.
And I sincerely hope your hip is not too bad or that you can get help.
(((hugs)))
Your brain is doing fine. For instance, look at how you picked up on that tiny reference to my hip! I have a second acupuncture appt Friday. It seems to be helping.
Wonderful to read, so much joy in the ordinary (and extraordinary). You are a marvel in your observations, outer and inner.
Sue
Thank you! It makes a difference to have people read these things.
Whatever switch you pulled for this ramble, don’t misplace it. Your words pulled me away from the tinge of dread that I was remember feeling as I sat out there alone. To not be the boss of anything for few minutes. The cooling and a pair of redtailed hawks became agitated and circled overhead as the dusk deepened. The tree I was sitting under exhaled and dappled me with crescent shaped shadows and little spits of sap.
Speaking of writing. Most of this comment reads like a poem.
your writing is such a gift … and this is a classic example of how you turn phrases so neatly and evoke mental images so clearly … a wonderful stream of consciousness that carries us along and leaves us with a sigh of contentment
Thank you Liz. THis one seemed to hit a chord with people.
All of this! Top to bottom- visual and words, and all of the images and feelings that they floated into my mind… gorgeous and brilliant.
My goodness. Thank you Hazel.
You are the consummate wordsmith: you take the ordinary, the complex, the emotional, the magical, the wondering, and bring them forth in a way that we can become informed. You take the preposterous and the sublime, and feed our souls. You take he questioning of actions, that at times, lead us to moments of anger and sorrow and you do so by weaving words that inspire, that help us understand and reach into our very hearts You take the spirit filled actions of the cosmos and show us where we fit in the grand overall scheme of things. Your observations and your words, are a pathway for all of us to understand, reflect and connect.
I’m printing this and posting it near my laptop. Thank you so much Marti!
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