Things I want to be true:
Danny can be on his journey and free of his earthly burdens and still be in touch with us.
Tears have magic powers.
Words that currently have no meaning: healing, recovery, normal.
Phrases or words I’m already tired of: brought me to my knees, undid me, hollowed out, shattered, broken.
I consider these silver linings:
Danny will not have to endure another moment of Trump toxicity. (It saddens me to recognize how much of his adult life was poisoned by that turd).
Danny won’t have to witness my aging process or his Dad’s. Like me trotting across the living room some evenings and farting with every step (not on purpose I need to add). Funny, but?
Danny won’t have to bury or mourn us.
Danny won’t have to get a job in his field and discover how much working full-time can suck the life force out of a person without paying them enough to buy a house.
Tears help me a lot over the years, the kind cried alone.
This is new for me. Strange. Sometimes relieving. Mostly not, yet.
I know you meant “tear” in the liquid sense, but I was also thinking about the homophone “tear” meaning to rip apart, and how perhaps being ripped apart can have magic properties, too.
Now we’re truly dropping into a place of mythic meaning. The women who followed Dionysius around, remember.
FROM GOOGLE: Dionysian dismemberment, or sparagmos, is a central, violent myth where Dionysus is torn apart by Titans, symbolizing the shattering of unity into multiplicity, ego death, and the natural cycle of death and rebirth. As a god of ecstasy, his cult re-enacted this through sacrificial tearing, often linked to the fermentation of wine.
Dee~ I just recently read about the actual healing properties of tears. As in just the other day. But, I of course can’t remember where (maybe in a magazine I was ‘tear’ing up?
Anyway, a quick google search “the medical benefits of tears”, got me this AI answer: (it did not copy well, so maybe google yourself?)
Anyway, this part: Psychological and Neurological Benefits
Pain Relief: Shedding tears for an extended period releases oxytocin and endorphins (natural opioids). These “feel-good” chemicals help dull both physical and emotional pain
And this part: Some research suggests that emotional tears may flush out stress hormones like cortisol and other toxins that build up during periods of elevated stress.
But, what I read was about what tears are made up of.
All to say, and this comes from a crier, crying is indeed good for us.
xo
AI:
Crying is a natural physiological response that provides significant physical and psychological benefits. Medical experts categorize these benefits based on the three types of tears: basal (lubricating), reflex (protective), and emotional (healing).
Medical News Today
Medical News Today
+3
Physical Health Benefits
Antimicrobial Protection: Tears contain lysozyme, an enzyme with powerful antibacterial properties that can kill certain bacteria in minutes, protecting the eyes from infection.
Lubrication and Vision Clarity: Basal tears are released every time you blink to keep the eyes moist and prevent mucous membranes from drying out, which helps maintain sharp vision.
Debris Removal: Reflex tears flush out harmful irritants like smoke, dust, and onion fumes, acting as a “fire alarm” for the eyes.
Detoxification: Some research suggests that emotional tears may flush out stress hormones like cortisol and other toxins that build up during periods of elevated stress.
Medical News Today
Medical News Today
+7
Psychological and Neurological Benefits
Pain Relief: Shedding tears for an extended period releases oxytocin and endorphins (natural opioids). These “feel-good” chemicals help dull both physical and emotional pain.
Self-Soothing: Crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which helps the body shift from a “fight or flight” state to a “rest and digest” state, promoting relaxation and lowering the heart rate.
Mood Enhancement: In addition to easing pain, the release of endorphins can lift your spirits, often leading to a sense of “catharsis” or feeling “lighter” after a cry.
Improved Sleep: The calming effect and the physical energy expended during a crying episode can help individuals, especially infants, fall asleep more easily.
Medical News Today
Medical News Today
+7
Social and Emotional Benefits
Attachment and Support: Crying acts as a social signal that you are in distress, which often prompts empathy and support from others, helping to build stronger social bonds.
Emotional Balance: Crying in response to intense joy, fear, or stress helps the body recover from overwhelming emotions and restores emotional equilibrium.
Grief Processing: Crying is an essential part of the grieving process, helping individuals accept and process the loss of loved ones.
Parts of this are exactly what I was reading on Threads yesterday when I took that screen shot. But this is much more comprehensive. Thanks for copying and pasting.
Thanks for that D. I’m going to share that with a friend who is grieving right now and every time I talk to her, she starts crying, and then apologizes for it. I tell her no, just let it flow. It’s good for you but without having the scientific backup about it.
We probably all could be crying a lot more right now and find relief in that.
The other thing to share perhaps is the David Kessler quote, “If you have 10,000 tears, you don’t stop at 200.”
I self medicated quite a few times today……disecting my Life Choices.
I’m sorry Joanne. That sounds painful.
Interesting. I do usually feel better after “a good cry”. Maybe that is where the saying comes from.
A “good cry” can be cleansing, for sure.
I have learnt something today….educated on tears, thank you. I have shed oceans of them…and today. In a cafe, finishing off lunch and I asked who was singing over the speaker…Anita Baker, and conversation ensued. Do you sing? Well I have had lessons but still sound like a strangled cat…oh don’t be hard on yourself…..too much tension in my throat…from trauma…makes the cat sing…and she asks if I have children…that question…shake my head, don’t ask that…it became safe to share…that’s the trauma, losing my son and estranged from my other…and tears flow…in public and I don’t care…they come when they come, ready, always unconsciously ready…a hug…and now someone in town I will say hello to and remember their name…have relocated, hardly know a soul. She sings, self taught and hope to go and see her on stage, local…oh Dee, I so wish for you to be in a better place than me sixteen years on…try not to let it become ‘complicated grief’ because it’s a shithole space to be in…you are in my thoughts and your writing is wonderful…real…honest…blunt…feeling. I am grateful for it. Maybe your journey is helping me because no one really understands unless they are sadly in the same position. Time is irrelevant and nothing is normal; it’s a word I detest. And on another topic…we simply cannot comprehend why some serious action is not being taken to remove the orange turd from office; from the other side of the world we see him as unhinged, dangerous, stupid, selfish, incompetent, a joke, disgusting, and the list goes on…. The global ramifications of his actions is horrific and even affects us personally, ordinary people on the other side of the world. I so feel for the American people. Rambling….I must sleep. xx
There is so much heart in your rambling and I thank you for sharing, Linda. Let’s normalize (there’s that word) crying wherever we must.
So much here in your post along with all the interesting informative comments .. I’m going to spend some time rereading them. Ending with Linda’s comment about the orange turd is so spot on .. if I hadn’t already been wanting to cry that would have done it.