Things I want to be true:
Danny can be on his journey and free of his earthly burdens and still be in touch with us.
Tears have magic powers.
Words that currently have no meaning: healing, recovery, normal.
Phrases or words I’m already tired of: brought me to my knees, undid me, hollowed out, shattered, broken.
I consider these silver linings:
Danny will not have to endure another moment of Trump toxicity. (It saddens me to recognize how much of his adult life was poisoned by that turd).
Danny won’t have to witness my aging process or his Dad’s. Like me trotting across the living room some evenings and farting with every step (not on purpose I need to add). Funny, but?
Danny won’t have to bury or mourn us.
Danny won’t have to get a job in his field and discover how much working full-time can suck the life force out of a person without paying them enough to buy a house.
Tears help me a lot over the years, the kind cried alone.
This is new for me. Strange. Sometimes relieving. Mostly not, yet.
I know you meant “tear” in the liquid sense, but I was also thinking about the homophone “tear” meaning to rip apart, and how perhaps being ripped apart can have magic properties, too.
Now we’re truly dropping into a place of mythic meaning. The women who followed Dionysius around, remember.
FROM GOOGLE: Dionysian dismemberment, or sparagmos, is a central, violent myth where Dionysus is torn apart by Titans, symbolizing the shattering of unity into multiplicity, ego death, and the natural cycle of death and rebirth. As a god of ecstasy, his cult re-enacted this through sacrificial tearing, often linked to the fermentation of wine.
Thanks for that D. I’m going to share that with a friend who is grieving right now and every time I talk to her, she starts crying, and then apologizes for it. I tell her no, just let it flow. It’s good for you but without having the scientific backup about it.
We probably all could be crying a lot more right now and find relief in that.
The other thing to share perhaps is the David Kessler quote, “If you have 10,000 tears, you don’t stop at 200.”
I self medicated quite a few times today……disecting my Life Choices.
I’m sorry Joanne. That sounds painful.